From Nic's Kitchen: Corbeau's Easy Scampi

 

Healthy Choices?

Due to all of the crazy I talked about last week. I haven't been taking my meds consistently. I know I need to. I mean to. But everything is a mess, and I've been struggling to actually do it. Now that I'm taking them regularly again, I feel better? Shocking, I know. So that's been helping me get back to a place where being productive is possible. I need to keep that going. 

Because of everything happening, I'm woefully behind on all the things. Blog maintenance, working, editing, socializing... Just everything. So it's a little overwhelming to get going again. It's something I've always wondered how normal people do it (yes, normal people. The Precise Keeper of Time and C.O. heavily dislike when I say that lol). With everything happening and the emotions and the struggle... just going back to living normally and being productive feels very hard. Unsurmountable some days. It's going to be a process. 

With that, I've decided I'm not writing in November. The book I was scheduled to write then would be the first book in a new series (Drift, Book One of Collide), and it wouldn't be published until October of 2027. It doesn't have to be written this year. It can wait. So, I modified my schedule to write Drift next year. I think it will be ok. We'll see. I'm a little stressed that I'm dropping a writing month, but I'm so far behind on edits right now that trying to do everything I had planned for the year isn't realistic anymore. 

I don't know how much I've mentioned it, but I have my writing schedule mapped out until the end of 2030. I know what books I'm writing and when. All of it has some pretty tight turnaround on them. I like to keep myself busy. I do better when I'm busy. Downtime has a tendency to make my mental health spiral. 

So, here's a peek into what my writing schedule looks like for this year and next: 

Don't mind the emojis. I have these listed in my room (channel) in the Discord server I admin. They are all animated lol so they look a little crazy without the animations. Tbf, it's still kind of crazy when they are all moving, but it's a good crazy. My kind of crazy. This is the revised one. I was actually supposed to be almost through round two of edits on Waterlogged by now. I'm barely halfway through the first round. It'll all get done. I guess I needed some grace for a bit. I'm not thrilled, but it's fine. 

Ok, I need to get back to things. 
Until next week ♥

The lyrics in my head this week are a bit odd, but we used to sing this to Tig when he was a kitten. It's his song. He's my Big Tig. Tigger Bear. Sweet Boy. 

The wonderful thing about Tiggers,
Is Tigger's are wonderful things!
Their tops are made of rubber,
Their bottoms are made of springs! 
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers, 
Is he's the only one! 

Trust Excerpt 6: Windcrest

 

“Welcome to our home,” Tom said from the balcony. “Eric is finishing something up and then he will be out. We were thinking we could sit on the veranda.”

“Sounds perfect,” I said as I tugged Nic toward the stairs.

He was still looking around in awe. I couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw where we'd be having this meeting. I tried to take the stairs at a normal pace, but my legs started shaking. Nic pulled me closer and let me lean on him. I knew Tom noted the change as we got halfway up the stairs.

“Your home is beautiful,” Nic said as we took the last few stairs.

“Thank you,” Tom said, smiling broadly. “We've enjoyed putting it all together.”

“Tom,” I said. “This is Nic.”

“It’s so good to meet you,” he said stepping up to Nic and enveloping him in a hug. It took him by surprise and I had to suppress a grin. “And Vanessa, you look especially gorgeous tonight.”

He gave me a hug, lifted me off my feet, and spun in a circle. When he set me down, I kissed his cheek. Nic raised his eyebrows at the gesture, but Thomas leaned over and said something to him.

Tom had done that the first time we met because he said I looked like I needed something to make me smile. I didn’t know what to make of it then, but now he did it every time he saw me. Eric always shook his head and grumbled if he saw it happen. He didn’t like how informal it was.

Tom was never formal. His copper hair was always tousled like he just got out of bed, and he would fit in well at the beach at all times. I'd never seen him in anything other than gauzy shirts and pastel shorts. If he had to have shoes on, he wore sandals but preferred to be barefoot.

“James and Thomas,” he said fondly. “I haven’t seen you in far too long.”

He gave them both hugs, and then whistled twice. Coco came sprinting from somewhere down the hall. Her head came to my hip, and her shaggy hair was always in her eyes. As she ran to Tom, her tongue flopped out of her mouth. Tom patted her head and then she head butted Thomas’s hand. He dropped down into a squat and rubbed her cheeks while talking nonsense to her.

“I thought her name was Coco,” Nic said.

“It is,” Tom chuckled. “Eric’s idea of a good joke. A pure white dog named after a dark brown powder.”

Coco noticed Nic and galloped over, almost knocking him down, but he grinned and did the same thing Thomas had done. Coco leaned into him and then licked his face. She was always excited to have company over.

“Let’s head out there,” Tom said. “Coco can come along for now.”

Nic stood again and Coco whined. He reached out and patted her head. He held out his other arm for me and we followed Tom. When we came to a bank of French doors, Nic slowed his pace. I grinned at him and tugged him along.

The view was incredible. The gardens were impressive on their own. A few fountains were interspersed among the flowers, benches, and a pond, and from up here you could see out to the sea. We stepped out on to the pale wide planks that made up the floor, and Nic was speechless. Wood latticework went up one side and over the top with bright vines winding themselves through it. The railing on the other two sides was wrought iron bent into intricate patterns. The glass top table was already set for six. It was a perfect oasis back here.

“This is incredible,” Nic said, barely audible.

“Please,” Tom said. “Sit. Rose will be out in minute to bring drinks. Eric shouldn’t be long.”

Disorganized Chaos

 There has been a lot. Then I realized I hadn't checked on blog things and saw a placeholder post went out. I deleted it now, but it shouldn't have posted. When things are going well for me, I queue up a lot of things. I also have placeholders so I don't have to think about when or the times or anything like that when I am getting content ready. It's a system that was working well for me... until I fell behind and dropped all the balls I was juggling, and it's all kind of a mess right now. Over the next week I plan to make an attempt to clean it all up. 

I haven't talked about it much, if at all, on here because... well, a lot of reason, but some level of privacy was some of it. Two years ago, my dad was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. They gave him three to six months. Well, he showed them that Staudacher's are stubborn as all hell. He blew their timeline out of the water. He lived four times longer than their best guesses. He passed last week. There have been a lot of big emotions. I'm not good at big emotions. I do a lot of avoiding them. C.O and I have been working on it. 

To add more complicated emotions to the mix, my cat, Tigger (13), is now on kitty hospice. He had what I thought was an infection in his lip. Took him to the vet and found out a tumor was growing under his gums, had dislodged all the teeth on the upper right side, and caused them to rot. He had his surgery to remove the teeth, and they tested the tumor. It's a very aggressive form of cancer. There isn't anything they can really do for him. So he's on pain meds now. Once he starts declining, I'll have to have him put to sleep. I got this news five days before my dad died. He's in good spirits. Still loves his treats, pretends he dislikes the cuddles (but starts purring immediately), and has been acting like my normal Big Tig. It won't be long, though. 

So, I'm a mess of things right now. A lot has fallen off to the side in disarray. I need to start pulling it all back together again. That's what this next week is going to be about. In theory. I have a million things that need my attention. Maybe I can get that down to 900,000 by the end of the month. 

Until next week (probably) ♥