Disorganized Chaos

 There has been a lot. Then I realized I hadn't checked on blog things and saw a placeholder post went out. I deleted it now, but it shouldn't have posted. When things are going well for me, I queue up a lot of things. I also have placeholders so I don't have to think about when or the times or anything like that when I am getting content ready. It's a system that was working well for me... until I fell behind and dropped all the balls I was juggling, and it's all kind of a mess right now. Over the next week I plan to make an attempt to clean it all up. 

I haven't talked about it much, if at all, on here because... well, a lot of reason, but some level of privacy was some of it. Two years ago, my dad was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. They gave him three to six months. Well, he showed them that Staudacher's are stubborn as all hell. He blew their timeline out of the water. He lived four times longer than their best guesses. He passed last week. There have been a lot of big emotions. I'm not good at big emotions. I do a lot of avoiding them. C.O and I have been working on it. 

To add more complicated emotions to the mix, my cat, Tigger (13), is now on kitty hospice. He had what I thought was an infection in his lip. Took him to the vet and found out a tumor was growing under his gums, had dislodged all the teeth on the upper right side, and caused them to rot. He had his surgery to remove the teeth, and they tested the tumor. It's a very aggressive form of cancer. There isn't anything they can really do for him. So he's on pain meds now. Once he starts declining, I'll have to have him put to sleep. I got this news five days before my dad died. He's in good spirits. Still loves his treats, pretends he dislikes the cuddles (but starts purring immediately), and has been acting like my normal Big Tig. It won't be long, though. 

So, I'm a mess of things right now. A lot has fallen off to the side in disarray. I need to start pulling it all back together again. That's what this next week is going to be about. In theory. I have a million things that need my attention. Maybe I can get that down to 900,000 by the end of the month. 

Until next week (probably) ♥