Waterlogged Excerpt 1: Stepping Outside

I wanted to know all the reasoning, but I knew better than to ask any of the questions. It wouldn’t do me any good. I tried my magic again, but it still wasn’t working. Even if I managed to get free, I didn’t know that I’d be able to do anything about it. I couldn’t run, I didn’t have any weapons, not that I could wield them anyway, and my magic was unreliable at best for the time being. 

We finally made it to the top of the stairs. The door to the outside was left open. It was bright enough to burn my eyes. I blinked rapidly, trying to alleviate the stars even as more formed. The light in the cell was always on, and it was always just bright enough to see across the room, but not more than that. 

As he pulled me out the door, I took a deep breath. The smells of the forest filled my nose. The birdsong as they got ready to settle in for the night was beautiful enough tears sprang to my eyes. I could hear everything at the same time. The chorus of critters in the undergrowth and up the trees. I didn’t want to go back to silence. I didn’t know that I could handle it again. 

I hadn’t realized how much I missed the sounds and smells until now. Not having them for what felt like weeks had been a particularly cruel form of torture.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. The content might change or be removed entirely from the final book.)

Trust Excerpt 7: Blackberry Pie

 “Does he do all the cooking?” she asked as she finished her dinner.

“I do,” he said. “Vanessa doesn’t cook. If it wasn’t for Gus, they would never eat anything but takeout. I’ve been volunteered to be the cook now.”

“His food is better,” I whispered to her. “He makes all kinds of things.”

“If I ask him to make me a pie, do you think he would?” she whispered back.

“Maybe if you ask very nicely.”

“Nicholai,” she said, leaning forward and pouting. “Would you maybe make me a blackberry pie?”

A slight grin tugged at her lips. Nic scoffed, and I knew without looking he had rolled his eyes.

“It’s a little late for that isn’t it?” he asked.

“Pretty please,” she said softly.

Her eyes were sparkling. I couldn’t contain the laugh as he sighed and reached for our plates. He wouldn’t be able to say no to her. He knocked his shoulder into mine before he got up and walked to the stairs, grumbling.

“Is he really going to make me a pie?” she asked as he disappeared down the stairs.

“I think he is,” I said. “He isn’t going to let you get away with that forever.”

“That’s fine,” she said stretching her legs out. “But right now it’ll get me pie.”

From Nic's Kitchen: Corbeau's Easy Scampi

 

Healthy Choices?

Due to all of the crazy I talked about last week. I haven't been taking my meds consistently. I know I need to. I mean to. But everything is a mess, and I've been struggling to actually do it. Now that I'm taking them regularly again, I feel better? Shocking, I know. So that's been helping me get back to a place where being productive is possible. I need to keep that going. 

Because of everything happening, I'm woefully behind on all the things. Blog maintenance, working, editing, socializing... Just everything. So it's a little overwhelming to get going again. It's something I've always wondered how normal people do it (yes, normal people. The Precise Keeper of Time and C.O. heavily dislike when I say that lol). With everything happening and the emotions and the struggle... just going back to living normally and being productive feels very hard. Unsurmountable some days. It's going to be a process. 

With that, I've decided I'm not writing in November. The book I was scheduled to write then would be the first book in a new series (Drift, Book One of Collide), and it wouldn't be published until October of 2027. It doesn't have to be written this year. It can wait. So, I modified my schedule to write Drift next year. I think it will be ok. We'll see. I'm a little stressed that I'm dropping a writing month, but I'm so far behind on edits right now that trying to do everything I had planned for the year isn't realistic anymore. 

I don't know how much I've mentioned it, but I have my writing schedule mapped out until the end of 2030. I know what books I'm writing and when. All of it has some pretty tight turnaround on them. I like to keep myself busy. I do better when I'm busy. Downtime has a tendency to make my mental health spiral. 

So, here's a peek into what my writing schedule looks like for this year and next: 

Don't mind the emojis. I have these listed in my room (channel) in the Discord server I admin. They are all animated lol so they look a little crazy without the animations. Tbf, it's still kind of crazy when they are all moving, but it's a good crazy. My kind of crazy. This is the revised one. I was actually supposed to be almost through round two of edits on Waterlogged by now. I'm barely halfway through the first round. It'll all get done. I guess I needed some grace for a bit. I'm not thrilled, but it's fine. 

Ok, I need to get back to things. 
Until next week ♥

The lyrics in my head this week are a bit odd, but we used to sing this to Tig when he was a kitten. It's his song. He's my Big Tig. Tigger Bear. Sweet Boy. 

The wonderful thing about Tiggers,
Is Tigger's are wonderful things!
Their tops are made of rubber,
Their bottoms are made of springs! 
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers, 
Is he's the only one! 

Trust Excerpt 6: Windcrest

 

“Welcome to our home,” Tom said from the balcony. “Eric is finishing something up and then he will be out. We were thinking we could sit on the veranda.”

“Sounds perfect,” I said as I tugged Nic toward the stairs.

He was still looking around in awe. I couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw where we'd be having this meeting. I tried to take the stairs at a normal pace, but my legs started shaking. Nic pulled me closer and let me lean on him. I knew Tom noted the change as we got halfway up the stairs.

“Your home is beautiful,” Nic said as we took the last few stairs.

“Thank you,” Tom said, smiling broadly. “We've enjoyed putting it all together.”

“Tom,” I said. “This is Nic.”

“It’s so good to meet you,” he said stepping up to Nic and enveloping him in a hug. It took him by surprise and I had to suppress a grin. “And Vanessa, you look especially gorgeous tonight.”

He gave me a hug, lifted me off my feet, and spun in a circle. When he set me down, I kissed his cheek. Nic raised his eyebrows at the gesture, but Thomas leaned over and said something to him.

Tom had done that the first time we met because he said I looked like I needed something to make me smile. I didn’t know what to make of it then, but now he did it every time he saw me. Eric always shook his head and grumbled if he saw it happen. He didn’t like how informal it was.

Tom was never formal. His copper hair was always tousled like he just got out of bed, and he would fit in well at the beach at all times. I'd never seen him in anything other than gauzy shirts and pastel shorts. If he had to have shoes on, he wore sandals but preferred to be barefoot.

“James and Thomas,” he said fondly. “I haven’t seen you in far too long.”

He gave them both hugs, and then whistled twice. Coco came sprinting from somewhere down the hall. Her head came to my hip, and her shaggy hair was always in her eyes. As she ran to Tom, her tongue flopped out of her mouth. Tom patted her head and then she head butted Thomas’s hand. He dropped down into a squat and rubbed her cheeks while talking nonsense to her.

“I thought her name was Coco,” Nic said.

“It is,” Tom chuckled. “Eric’s idea of a good joke. A pure white dog named after a dark brown powder.”

Coco noticed Nic and galloped over, almost knocking him down, but he grinned and did the same thing Thomas had done. Coco leaned into him and then licked his face. She was always excited to have company over.

“Let’s head out there,” Tom said. “Coco can come along for now.”

Nic stood again and Coco whined. He reached out and patted her head. He held out his other arm for me and we followed Tom. When we came to a bank of French doors, Nic slowed his pace. I grinned at him and tugged him along.

The view was incredible. The gardens were impressive on their own. A few fountains were interspersed among the flowers, benches, and a pond, and from up here you could see out to the sea. We stepped out on to the pale wide planks that made up the floor, and Nic was speechless. Wood latticework went up one side and over the top with bright vines winding themselves through it. The railing on the other two sides was wrought iron bent into intricate patterns. The glass top table was already set for six. It was a perfect oasis back here.

“This is incredible,” Nic said, barely audible.

“Please,” Tom said. “Sit. Rose will be out in minute to bring drinks. Eric shouldn’t be long.”

Disorganized Chaos

 There has been a lot. Then I realized I hadn't checked on blog things and saw a placeholder post went out. I deleted it now, but it shouldn't have posted. When things are going well for me, I queue up a lot of things. I also have placeholders so I don't have to think about when or the times or anything like that when I am getting content ready. It's a system that was working well for me... until I fell behind and dropped all the balls I was juggling, and it's all kind of a mess right now. Over the next week I plan to make an attempt to clean it all up. 

I haven't talked about it much, if at all, on here because... well, a lot of reason, but some level of privacy was some of it. Two years ago, my dad was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. They gave him three to six months. Well, he showed them that Staudacher's are stubborn as all hell. He blew their timeline out of the water. He lived four times longer than their best guesses. He passed last week. There have been a lot of big emotions. I'm not good at big emotions. I do a lot of avoiding them. C.O and I have been working on it. 

To add more complicated emotions to the mix, my cat, Tigger (13), is now on kitty hospice. He had what I thought was an infection in his lip. Took him to the vet and found out a tumor was growing under his gums, had dislodged all the teeth on the upper right side, and caused them to rot. He had his surgery to remove the teeth, and they tested the tumor. It's a very aggressive form of cancer. There isn't anything they can really do for him. So he's on pain meds now. Once he starts declining, I'll have to have him put to sleep. I got this news five days before my dad died. He's in good spirits. Still loves his treats, pretends he dislikes the cuddles (but starts purring immediately), and has been acting like my normal Big Tig. It won't be long, though. 

So, I'm a mess of things right now. A lot has fallen off to the side in disarray. I need to start pulling it all back together again. That's what this next week is going to be about. In theory. I have a million things that need my attention. Maybe I can get that down to 900,000 by the end of the month. 

Until next week (probably) ♥

Annabell's First Charge pt2

 I didn’t know if he was going to go through with it. I would’ve had it done and over with by now. There wasn’t much to this job. It was an in-and-out with an injection. It was supposed to be a heart attack, some new drug. He’d been following this guy for what felt like an eternity. Hopefully, he was just being sure. If that was all it was, I could respect it. It was his first job…

If he didn’t go in for the kill soon, I’d have to do it and report back that he needed more training. I really didn’t want to do that. I wasn’t sure what would happen to him. I’d never heard about anything like that happening.

Finally, he was making a move. He picked his way across the rooftop, being much more careful than he needed to be at this time of the night, and then stopped above the mark’s window. I crossed my ankles and snuggled down in the jacket. I knew he couldn’t see me from where he was, not that he was looking. He’d need to work on that. The least he could’ve done was make an attempt to be sure he was the only one watching. Not that he would’ve found me if he went looking, but the effort would be needed.

His trip down the side of the building was smooth and almost looked effortless. It was impressive. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be reporting back. As soon as he moved in through the window, I stood and moved to the ledge. I pulled out my phone.

“Decker,” Arthur said as he answered.

“What am I supposed to be saying?”

“I heard you got your first newbie,” he said with a chuckle. “How’s he doing?”

“Fine,” I replied. “Took way longer to get this going than I would’ve.”

“Well, this is his first one,” Arthur said. “Cut him some slack.”

I pulled out the night vision binoculars. He’d been in there a long time, but I couldn’t see much of anything and had to move down further.

“Oh, shit,” I gasped.

“Uh oh,” Arthur said. “Did he mess it up?”

“I… ok,” I said as I leaned over further. “Ok. He was supposed to be quick, make it an accident, but he was just fighting the guy. Looks like he finally got him.”

“When he’s done, slip in there and make sure it’s clean,” Arthur said.

“And what am I supposed to report?” I asked.

“Whatever you want,” he replied. “Call me later and we can go over it.”

Trust Excerpt 5: Exhaustion

 “If you pass out it, it will result with you being in bed, and all of us worried about you,” he said.

“Fine,” I replied with a sigh. “I’ll get in bed, but someone is going to bring me some of that stuff from the box to go over.”

“You need rest,” he said as he picked me up. “Now.”

“I need answers to all of these questions,” I said, scrambling to hold on to him.

“Rayna wants to come up here and talk to you by herself for a minute,” he said. “I’m going to make food while she talks to you, and then we can figure out what to do next. You and I still have some things to talk about.”

“I was hoping you were going to let us move on from that now,” I said.

He carried me up the stairs and placed me softly on the bed. I leaned back into the headboard and he pressed a soft kiss to my temple. He let his lips linger for moment before giving me a soft smile and going back down the stairs to get Rayna.

I closed my eyes and tipped my head back. Everything was such a mess. Nothing made any sense. I was tired all the time. My body and my magic were both sore. Rayna came running up the stairs.

“How are you?” Rayna asked as she jumped on the edge of the bed. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m doing ok,” I said. “I’m just tired. You did good today.”

“I told you, I just wanted to help,” she said. “I can help you.”

She scooted over to me and lifted my arm so she could lay against me. She wrapped her arms around me and sighed. She'd never had comfort before. I knew she hadn’t, but how quickly she sought it out concerned me. She wasn’t standoffish at all. She was temperamental, but not standoffish. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“My shadows like you,” she said. “They talk about you a lot.”

“What do they say about me?”

“They tell me you're upset a lot, but you don’t tell people. They think you should tell James and Nic,” she said.

“What makes you think I don’t tell them?” I asked.

“You don’t tell everything,” she said. “They can feel it.”

“Well,” I said, squeezing her tighter. “Let your shadows know I am working on it.”

She went quiet as we sat there. I still needed to talk to Kathrine about taking Rayna out there. It would be best if it very few people saw her. We didn’t know the full scope of what she could do and how hard it was for her to control it. 

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Contents may change or be removed entirely from the finished book.)

Cult Anyone?

 I have a cult now. I can't really tell you how it happened. I came back to the Inn after being busy and was greeted with several people telling me they were my followers. It had something to do with daily word counts, that's really all I know! So. I'm a cult leader! I bless people with cookies (provided by my favorite Confused Cookie Goddess) and writing motivation. 

I know I've talked about the Inn, but I wanna talk about it some more. I love it there so much. It's the writing community I've always wanted. It was what I thought I had in the other group I belonged to. Turns out, vibes are hard to maintain when the leaders of a space don't model the correct behavior. With the Inn, we control that, and it's happy and supportive and just a fantastic group of people I adore being around. We're close to 120 guests at our Inn. It's crazy to me that we have that many people. I love them all. It's really a driving force for me lately. 

This has been a week. It's been complicated and hard and stressful for so many reasons. I've been on the verge of taking my panic attack meds more than once. I keep saying I'm going to do better about maintaining these weekly posts, and I always have good intentions, but I'm busy all the time now. Between writing and working and the Inn and having a child that's an adult but really still a child and some other family things happening. I will try to be better about it. 

There is a new Taylor Swift album coming out at MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! I honestly cannot wait. It's going to be devastatingly good. I can feel it. I'll probably end up staying up way later than I should while listening to the entire thing. The wait it KILLING ME! 

I think that's all for this week. I'm exhausted. 

Until next week ♥

Lyrics in my head:

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

Fighting in only your army

Frontlines, don't you ignore me

I'm the best thing at this party

You're losing me

And I wouldn't marry me either

A pathological people pleaser

Who only wanted you to see her

Maps Anyone?

 The map of Hearth is in Rage, but I have these rough drawings of Tarum and Vale. I made them in paint, so they aren't exactly fabulous, BUT! They will be drawn up and amazing at some point! (also, pretend my scribbles on there are decent lol)

TARUM: 

VALE: 

Annabell's First Charge pt1

 I needed a shower. The problem with amazing workouts was always having to change after. When I could just be home, it wasn’t a big deal. Having to be on campus meant sharing shower space and locker rooms. At least I hadn’t run into anyone yet.

Almost there.

“Ready for one of your own?” Alex said.

I groaned internally while turning to face her. I’d been so close to making it to the showers.

“Do I have to?” I asked. “I still feel like I barely know what I’m doing.”

I flashed her a smile and looked down at my feet. It was what she wanted. She laughed and handed me the file.

“I’m glad you’re still willing to learn from me!”

“Well, you are the best there is,” I said as she pulled me into a hug. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “When does this one start?”

“He was just handed his first assignment. So you can read up on it and then head out in the field to keep an eye on him.”

I flashed her another smile as she turned and walked back down the hallway. I hated the days I was required to be on the campus. I’d been talking to Arthur more and more about how everything around Garrote worked. I wanted out, but there wasn’t a way to make that happen.

I walked into the locker room and flopped down on one of the benches. It wasn’t a big folder. It would be perfect if it was an easy in-and-out job. That would mean I wouldn’t have to get involved in it. It would be nice if this one was decent. Arthur had told some stories, and I really didn’t want to deal with one of those.

I flipped through the relevant information. If it were my job, it’d only take a day, maybe two, depending on how it looked on the first night. Hopefully, the new guy, Onyx, would be on top of it. On the plus side, I knew I wouldn’t get many jobs while watching him. It might be a good vacation.

Long days and Spring Cleaning

 I need to be better about these. Every week. I've been... busy. To say the least. I finally got the editing on Trust done and moved on to finish writing Moonlit. I'm not scheduled to edit it until May, but I've decided I need to get a little bit of a head start on it ahead of camp. 

Speaking of camp! Sir Innkeeper, Lady Benevolent Witch, and I started our own Discord server! Because everything with NaNo is a mess... we've decided to hold our own writing events. We EXPLODED in members so fast we've been scrambling to manage it all. It's been great. I love it there. The people are great, and the vibes are the best. I'm super grateful for all of it!! So, I'll still be writing Waterlogged in April, it will just be for our event instead! 

I'm spring cleaning this week, so I'm exhausted, BUT! My house will be clean! Like, really clean. Scrubbing the baseboards, cleaning out every cupboard and closet kinda clean. It'll be awesome when it's done, but right now, I'm feeling tired and sore and ready for it to all be over. 

Something AMAZING happened this week! I wrote for a sub call about a year ago and I hadn't heard anything about it, so I just assumed they didn't take it. I got an email this week... THEY ARE GOING TO PUBLISH IT! Details will be coming soon! I'm super excited! I can't wait! 

Ok, until next week ♥

Lyrics in my head:

And I wouldn't marry me either
A pathological people pleaser 
Who only wanted you to see her
And I'm fadin', thinkin'

and

All that I am 
All that I ever was
Is here your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

From Nic's Kitchen: Potato Soup

 

Trust Excerpt 4: Riley

 

“Vanessa!” someone yelled as they ran through the gathered crowd. All of a sudden, I was almost knocked over as someone wrapped their arms around me and squeezed. “I’ve missed you so much! I just wasn’t sure if you’d want me to drop by.”

“Riley?” I asked, surprised. “They told me you’d moved to Briar.”

“I came back after the attacks,” she said, eyes filled with tears. “I knew they needed me here if it happened again.”

“You are always welcome to anywhere I am,” I said, pulling her into another hug. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears back. “Always.”

I hadn’t seen her since I dropped her off in the village 13 years ago. We were passing through and she wanted to stay. She was so young then, but eager to learn from the fairies here and to help. She was, and always would be, one of my kids. Seeing her, alive and taken care of, overwhelmed my senses.

“Sorry, I know there is a lot going on, but when I was told you were here… I just had to see you,” she said stepping back and wiping her eyes.

Her long dark hair was swept up into a pony tail, and she had dirt all over her face and clothes. I knew she would be grown now, but it was hard to really believe it. She had been so young when James and I left her here. Somehow, she had stayed that way in my mind.

“I’m really happy to see you, too,” I said, hastily wiping the tears from my eyes. “I think about you a lot. I’m glad you’re well.”

“I’m going to help them defend this place,” she said, clearing her throat. “I’ve been pushing my magic to build the strength.”

“Just make sure you take care of yourself, ok?” I said.

“You too,” she said.

“When this is over, I owe Lottie and Denis coffee,” Nic said. “You're welcome to join us.”

“I would like that,” she said with a smile.

“I’ve got a few teams scattering to get the word out,” Ben said as he marched back into the square. “We will make sure none of them fall.”

“Thank you,” Nic said, extending his hand.

Ben clasped Nic’s forearm and bowed his head slightly. A softness slid across Nic’s face as he bowed his head in return.

“It will be an honor to serve with you,” Ben said.

They both pulled their hands back, pressed their fists against their lips, and then lay their palms flat against their chests.

“The honor is all mine,” Nic said.

Trust Excerpt 3: Just a Little Treason

 

“I can’t pull many,” Arthur said, jaw clenched. “It will draw attention.”

“Do what you can,” I said. “We’ve gotta make this fast.”

He pulled out his phone and started barking orders. I needed to stay out of sight. We didn’t need the Cabinet interested in my movements. I wanted to storm into one of these buildings and force them to act. That didn’t go well for me the last time.

“Don’t forget to breathe, V,” James said softly. “You’re going to combust.”

“I’m over their bullshit,” I snarled. “How hard would it be to just overthrow them a little bit and take over until this is settled?”

“Probably not a good idea to talk about treason while standing behind a government building…” he said. “Or in front of someone that works for them.”

“She’s fine,” the witch said. “I agree with her. Vanessa and Erica got us through the attack on Prush. I’m in for whatever the two of them need.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “What was your name?”

“Trish,” she said.

“I’ve been meeting a lot of people lately. I might forget again,” I said.

“I’ll help her remember,” James said with a genuine smile.

“It’s ok,” Trish said. “You have a lot going on. If you or Erica need anything from someone in the capital, just shoot me a message and I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you,” I started.

“If someone can get me a portal, we’ll be ready to go,” Arthur interrupted.

“Sure, where to?” I asked.

“Near the barracks.”

“I’ve never been there,” I said.

“I’ve got it.”

Trish opened the portal and we stepped through. There was a group of 15 men waiting for us. All of them were grim. I didn’t know how much Arthur told them, but we needed to move before I filled them in any further.

“Are you good to stay here?” I asked Trish.

“Yep. Let me know if you need anything else,” she said with a wave.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Contents may change or be removed entirely from the finished novel.)

From Nic's Kitchen: Barbeque Sauce

 

Matchstick's on Pre-Order!

 Matchstick is almost here!! It's available for pre-order right now and will be released on February 13th! 

To read the first three chapters, check out Matchstick's page on my website! 

As Harley settles into the new dynamics of her life, including a budding relationship with Onyx, she's ready to move forward on her plans against the Order. Now more comfortable with her magic, she's optimistic about using it to her advantage and taking them down. 

However, her plans are thwarted as Mark resurfaces with a vendetta; Harley's only warning coming from an unlikely ally. Meanwhile, Bethany is also out for revenge, making an appearance of her own. Bethany has nothing left to lose and nowhere else to direct her anger. 

The odds of surviving them both aren’t in Harley’s favor.

♥ BN ♥ Smashwords ♥ Amazon ♥

Trust Excerpt 2: Nic

 “Stop it,” James said, bumping his shoulder into mine. “I can feel your stress all the way over here.”

“I’m not stressed,” I said, glaring at him.

“Bullshit,” he said.

“What did she do now?” Nic asked as he sidled up to my other side, taking my hand.

“She says she isn’t stressed,” James answered.

“She’s a liar then,” Nic quipped.

“She isn’t even very good at it.”

“I’m right here,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And I’m fine. I’ve been fine. I will be fine.”

“Bullshit,” Nic and James said at the same time.

The two of them had become friends since we held the wall in Prush. I had been happy about it since Nic was jealous of him. Once they became friends… they like to gang up on me.

“Is Thomas still planning the coalescence ceremony?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Yep,” James said with a sigh. “I told him we should probably wait, but he doesn’t want to.”

“Why?” Nic asked.

“He is afraid if it doesn’t happen soon that it won’t happen at all. Either there will be so much turmoil that it keeps getting put off, or that someone we love won’t make it home to be there.”

“I can see his reasoning, but this is probably the worst time for it,” I said.

“Do you want to tell him that?” James asked with a smirk.

“No,” I said, giving him side eyes. “I like my head still attached.”

Nic tipped his head back and laughed. I pulled my hand out of his and glared at him. He reached for me again, but I dodged him and stuck my tongue out. He laughed again, shaking his head as he jogged ahead to snag Ty.

“Hey,” James said, reaching out for my arm. “How is… all of that?”

“Fine,” I said as I came to a stop.

“Fine?” he said rolling his eyes. “That’s not an answer.”

“I don’t know. It’s going.”

“You are happy with him,” he said. A statement, not a question.

“I guess…” I said.

“Don’t do that,” he said softly. “As the person who knows you better than anyone in the whole world, I’m telling you that you’re happy. You are playful again.”

“For now,” I said. “I don’t expect it to stay that way. A storm is coming, and that will change everything. I’m not going to be excited about this until we are done Vale.”

“I know it’s hard,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “Enjoy it. Whether it’s for a week, a year, a decade… whatever the time may be. Enjoy it.”

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Contents are subject to change or may be removed from the final novel entirely.)

Hot Chocolate, Muffins, and a Fresh Start

 It was about time to close up for the night. Carly knew James was going to swing by on his way back to Vanessa’s to grab some coffee. She got it ready to go before she started closing everything down for the night. She knew a lot had been going on with them, but didn’t know exactly what. Vanessa loved her coffee, but she’d been in, or sent James in, way more often for the last couple weeks. She wasn’t going to let him pay for this batch. If it were solely up to her, they wouldn’t pay for any of their orders. They had both helped her sister, Kara, out of a tough spot. Carly knew she could never repay them, even if they said there was no debt to pay.

It had taken a few visits to get used to how Vanessa was. She’d liked James immediately. It was his bond with Vanessa that made Carly give her a second look. They’d become friends. She had a lot of regulars, but somehow… those two had become a lot more like family. Even before they helped Kara.

Carly gathered up all the trash from the bins in the dining area and swept the floor. Mopping sounded like a job for another night. The floors didn’t look bad anyway. It could wait. She hauled the bags to the back door and pushed it open with her hip. Her father wasn’t thrilled she did this. He was afraid something would happen to her. Her father still couldn’t understand why she wanted the coffee shop at all, not with all the coin they had in the vaults.

She barely noticed the boy in time to avoid hitting him with the garbage bags. His eyes widened as he tried to scramble away from her, his back colliding with the dumpster. Carly didn’t think he was any older than 10.

“Hey, it’s ok,” Carly said, setting the other bag down. “Were you looking for… food?”

He looked around, still panicked. The only way out of the dumpster was to get closer to her since it was set in an alcove. He started breathing heavy as he realized he was trapped.

“Listen, I have muffins in there,” she said. “Would you like some?”

She held her hand out for him, and he stared at it for a minute. He clasped his hands together tightly as his eyes darted around again. He hesitantly nodded, and accepted Carly’s outstretched hand. She helped him climb back out of the dumpster and led him inside. Under the lights in the dining room, he was thinner than she thought. His skin was coated in grime and his hair was greasy and stuck together.

“Let’s get your hands cleaned up before you eat,” she said.

He just nodded. She wasn’t sure if he was able to talk or if he was afraid to. She got the water started and had him wait until it was warm before he used it. The water ran so dark it was almost black. She handed him some soap and he used it happily. His hands were starting to come clean.

“My name’s Carly,” she said. “I own this place. What’s your name?”

“Oliver,” he said softly, voice cracking.

“Well, Oliver, let’s get you a couple muffins and a hot chocolate.”

He nodded hesitantly, but she could see the excitement and hunger burning in his eyes. Carly took him behind the counter and pulled her stool up to it for him to sit on. She grabbed a couple of muffins and set them down in front of him before getting his hot chocolate going. She heard the bell for the door and as she turned around, Oliver dropped to the floor, pressing his back into the cabinet, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Hey, Carly,” James said as he walked up to the counter. “Sorry if I’m holding you up! It took longer to get away than I thought it would.”

“No, you’re not holding me up,” she said glancing down at Oliver. “I was getting the cleaning done for the night.”

“I won’t keep you,” James said. “Thank you for the late coffee. You’re the best!”

“Do you have a minute?” she asked.

“Yea, what’s up?”

Carly held up her finger and squatted down in front of Oliver. He was squeezing his legs tightly and rocking slightly. She wasn’t sure if he was afraid of people in general or if he was expecting someone else to be looking for them.

“This is my friend, James,” she whispered quietly to Oliver. “Did you think someone else was coming?” Oliver nodded. “I think you should meet my friend if you’re up to it.”

“Is he nice?” he asked softly.

“He is,” Carly said with a soft smile. “And one of his jobs is helping people when they are hurt or scared.”

“It is?” he asked, eyes wide again.

Carly nodded before standing and offering her hand to him. He hesitated, but took it. As he climbed to his feet. His eyes were still wide as he turned to face James.

“Well, hi!” James said with a bright smile. “I’m James.”

“Oliver,” he mumbled.

“I found him looking for food out back, so I brought him in.”

His eyes shifted to hers and he nodded slightly. James extended his hand to him. Oliver looked down at the state of his clothes and the grime still covering his arms and took a step back. James was in one of his signature 3 piece suits, tailored perfectly, and didn’t have a speck of dust anywhere on him.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to shake my hand if you don’t want to,” James said, his charming smile spread across his face. “It was very nice to meet you.”

“Oliver hid behind the counter when you came in because he was expecting someone else to come looking for him,” Carly said.

Oliver looked to the floor and didn’t see the darkness cross over James’s face. Carly didn’t know the whole story, but she did know he and Vanessa had a very hard start to life. If anyone could help get through to Oliver, James could.

“Is that so?” James asked. Oliver nodded, still looking at the floor. “Well, I happen to know a lot of really awesome people that don’t care much for bullies. My best friend, Vanessa, isn’t afraid of anything.”

“Really?” Oliver said in awe. “She isn’t even afraid of Larry Smalls?”

“She isn’t. And, because you are friends with Carly, I’m sure Vanessa would love to have a talk with Larry Smalls and tell him he isn’t to say a single word to you.”

“No way!” he said. “She could do that?”

“I’m on my way to see her now,” he said. “I’ll tell her all about it. Are you going to be around here a while? I’m sure Vanessa would love to meet you after she talks to him.”

“If he’ll let me,” Carly said. “I’m going to take him home with me, get him a shower, a hot meal, and a bed.”

Oliver whipped around to look at her. His mouth dropped open before he snapped it shut.

“You don’t need to do that,” he said softly. “I’m ok. If Larry Smalls is gunna leave me alone, then I’m ok.”

“I want to. We’re going to get you healthy and then I’ll help you figure out what to do from there,” Carly said. “Why don’t you go into the back and see if I have more muffins in there?”

Carly waited until he’d slipped through the door before turning back to James.

“Thank you,” she said. “He was petrified in that dumpster. I know I don’t have the time to spend with him to keep him with me, but I’ll find a family for him. They’ll be paid well to make sure he is happy and taken care of.”

“I’ll talk to Vanessa. I’m sure she will be down here soon to meet him,” he said. “Are you bringing him in here every day for now?”

“Yea,” Carley said, propping her hip on the counter. “I’m sure he’d love to meet her. She’s definitely better with kids than with adults.”

James chuckled and said his goodbyes as Oliver came back out. The rest of the cleaning could happen in the morning. She wanted to get Oliver a proper meal and a nice hot shower. She held her hand out for him and he followed her out the back door.

Trust Excerpt 1: Training

“You are making everyone nervous,” James said as he ambled up to us.

“Good,” she said as she tore her eyes away from mine. “They need to be nervous. The next attack could happen at any time.”

“Either way,” James said with a bright smile. “It might be a good idea to send everyone out for food and come back to this after.”

Kathrine sized him up. He was one of the only humans that would approach her outright during training. Him and Thomas, that is. She found it equal parts annoying and amusing. She wasn’t used to people not having a healthy fear of her. I had a feeling Lance had a twisted sense of humor putting her in charge of this.

“I want everyone back here in two hours. We have drills to do,” she said as she spun on her heels and stalked toward the building.

“Man,” James said with a whistle. “I thinks she give you a run for your money.”

I snorted and pushed his shoulder. Nic and Ellie ran over as wolves. Ellie had been practicing shifting. She leapt in the air as she did it, and transitioned to running in her human form. Ty and Tray followed at a jog. They all grabbed their clothes from the pile nearby.

While I was starting to get used to all the nakedness all the time. I always felt better when they had their clothes back on. The ones from Tarum were even worse. They all trained together from a young age.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Contents are subject to change or be removed from the final novel entirely.) 

Frost in the Snow

Randle crouched behind the low wall as a snowball soared over his head. He scooped up some snow of his own and prepared to return fire. He poked his head up and just barely managed to get out of the way of the next one. He popped up and launched one back. Cassidy had just popped up to prepare another attack and he got her in shoulder. She dramatically spun around and collapsed, making a speech about being too young to perish.

Randle was so distracted by Cassidy’s theatrics he didn’t see the oncoming assault from Dex. It got him square in the chest. Dex stood cheered.

“I WON!” he yelled enthusiastically. “I did it!”

Cassidy was still on the ground, lamenting her last words. Randle grinned but rolled his eyes. His cousin had always been over the top. It was one of the things he loved about her. He admired the way she was unapologetically herself in all things. He didn’t have the courage. He was too afraid of what the court would think. He didn’t know if Cassidy got away with it because she was closer to the throne or if they were amused. He could never rule anyway. Princesses ascended, not princes.

“Ok, I think we need hot chocolate,” Cassidy said as she climbed to her feet.

“Hot chocolate sounds delightful,” Dex said. “However, I feel I am unable to join you.”

“Why?” Cassidy asked as brushed the snow off her coat. “You’re with me. They aren’t going to tell me no.”

Since her birthday earlier in the year, Dex had been spending a lot more time with the two of them. He didn’t flinch nearly as much when she used contractions now. He still struggled with it a bit sometimes. He also wasn’t used to being invited everywhere. Cassidy was third in line for the throne. If anything happened to their aunt, Cassidy would become the Crown Princess. Very few people in the palace would tell her no.

“I do not wish to make trouble,” Dex said.

“You aren’t,” Cassidy said with a snort. “I am, and they can just deal with it.”

She looped her arm through Dex’s and started to pull him toward the palace door. Randle shook his head as he followed. He loved his cousin for making sure Dex was always included. Most of the royals didn’t approve of Dex. He was one of the lowest levels of worker. They would never condone Randle’s relationship with him, but Cassidy did.

“Go up to my rooms and I shall find someone to bring up hot coco and something sweet,” she said.

She skipped off toward the kitchen and Dex lingered awkwardly. He wanted to hang out with them, but he was also afraid of consequences. Randle couldn’t blame him. The fae were not known for being kind in their assumptions.

“Cassidy has ordered you to spend time with her,” Randle said. “No one here can touch you.”

“I fear I shall be causing her undue burdens for her kindness,” Dex replied, shifting slightly.

“Cassidy is more than capable of causing her own undue burdens,” Randle said with a grin. “She is rather known for it around here.”

Dex chuckled and let Randle take his hand. They walked quickly up to Cassidy’s rooms, not wanting to be accosted by anyone before Cassidy could join. While the people of the palace were more than willing to tattle on Cassidy for breaking the rules, who she spent time with was not a rule. There was nothing they could gain from doing anything with the information.

The Frost Festival was in a few days. It was a busy time around the palace. Dex didn’t have family to spend it with, so Cassidy had been going even further out of her way to make sure Dex had festive things to do and focus on. She’d even gone out to get him presents.

He might never be able to have an official family with Dex, but Cassidy was determined to make it feel like one. As soon as their aunt produced a direct heir, Cassidy was going to see about leaving the palace. Randle wanted to go to. He had a better chance at it than she did, but he didn’t want to leave her there. He was more capable at getting along with the other royals than she was. He wouldn’t be alone like she would be. He wouldn’t leave without Dex either. He wasn’t sure if Dex would agree to go.

There would be time to figure that out later. The lighting of the festival tree was later in the evening. For now, he wanted to enjoy the company of his friends by the fire. 

Contracts and Power

Claudette sighed. The two men at the table with her were still screaming at each other; both claiming to be the victim, both wanting some kind of retribution. She’d barely been able to get them to the table in the first place. She didn’t know that anyone else could’ve. Fredrick had called her about problems in his business. Word was traveling that she had no fear and there wasn’t much she was unable to find. Someone was skimming coin from him, and he wanted to know who.

The two men in front of her, Gaven and Dawson, were the most likely. High enough in the organization to be less suspicious, but low enough to be spiteful. She leaned back in her chair, drumming her fingertips on the armrests. She had thought they would tire themselves out by now, but they weren’t showing any signs of slowing down. They were giving her a headache.

She reached down for the briefcase she brought with her. She lifted it up and dropped it, opposed to setting it, onto the table. The metal slammed into the wooden table. Both men flinched and turned to her, the blush of anger all over Dawson’s face.

“This is what we’re gunna do,” Claudette said, immune to their glares. “Both of yall are going to put your butts back in the chairs. I’m tired of the way this is going.”

She looked at them both in turn. They wanted to defy her. She was new in this field, so it didn’t surprise her in the least. She held their stares until they lowered themselves back down to the chairs. She leaned forward and popped the latch on the briefcase.

“I know it was one of you,” she continued. “I thought maybe I could figure out which while sitting here. Alas, I cannot.”

“We both know it was him,” Gaven sneered. “I shouldn’t even be in this meeting! I’ve never done a single thing against Fredrick or his business!”

“Sounds like something a guilty person would say!” Dawson fired back.

“I have two contracts here,” Claudette said, as if they hadn’t spoken. “One is an agreement with me, that the money will all be put back by the end of next season. That gives whichever one of you did it, time to get the coin put together.” She slid the pair of contracts over the table to each of them. “The other is a contract you will sign designating half your pay for the next year to go into Fredrick’s fund for orphaned children.”

“I will not be signing anything!” Dawson yelled.

“I thought you might say that,” Claudette said with a nod. “So I brought these too.”

She lifted the lid to the briefcase again and pulled two folders out, plopping one down in front of each of them, gesturing for them to read. Claudette crossed her legs and leaned back, tipping her head to the side as she watched them. As they flipped through the pages, they paled. Gaven swallowed hard and wiped sweat off his brow. Claudette’s lips twitched into a smile.

She might be new to this business, but she wasn’t new to finding information. Becoming a problem solver was what got her off the streets. Becoming the best at it would keep her in her new comfortable life. Both of these men had gotten their fingers in a lot of pies. Fredrick would not be pleased. It hadn’t even been that hard to find, all things considering. People in taverns liked to talk, especially when you ply them with the drink of their choice.

“As I was saying,” she continued as they slowly closed their folders. “You will sign the contracts, you will eagerly donate to this worthy cause, and you won’t stir up any more trouble. Otherwise... I’m sure Fredrick would love to see these files.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Dawson growled. “You would never be safe in this town again.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and held his gaze, not even remotely threatened by him. She’d been up against men much scarier than the two in front of her. She wasn’t about to be afraid now.

“Try me, Mr. Lane,” she said, voice level. “I’m not the one with something to be afraid of.”

She pulled pens out of the briefcase and held them out to the two men, forcing them to lean toward her to take them. It was the small things that showcased power. They were both grumbling now, reading over each contract. Neither wanted to sign. It was expected. She knew they would with a little nudge.

“This offer expires in 60 seconds,” she said as she stood. “After that, it will be up to Fredrick.” She picked at her nails as they glared at her, trying to find a way out of it. “Time’s almost up.”

Dawson sighed dramatically and scrawled his signature over both contracts. Gaven let out a string of creative curses she had to give him credit for as he signed. She took the contract agreeing to repay the money, and left the agreement to donate their pay to charity for them to deal with.

“It would be best if you turned those in quickly,” she said, slipping the other contracts into her briefcase. “I’ll be watching.”

With that, she snapped the latches closed and walked out of the room. She could feel Dawson’s magic crackling in the air, but didn’t change her pace. He wanted to make her flinch, and she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

Anxiety, Heartburn, and New Meds! Oh My!

 November has been a long month. Like really long. The longest month in the history of months. Ok, I'm probably being dramatic. It's fine. I've been struggling with the anxiety ratcheting up for a while now, but man.. it's gotten so bad. That's where the new meds come in. They are supposed to be super awesome and will help me a ton... I just have to get through the intro period. I'm going back and forth between sleeping 16 hours a day and 4 hours a day. Basically, whenever I'm awake... I'm exhausted. More than exhausted. Barely human really. That has finally started to lessen, but now the heartburn is setting in. It's so terrible. I've always had acid reflux. I have so many treatments at my disposal for it... they are not working. So I feel like I have a pool ball lodged in my throat. It's so great. I'm so excited about it. I learned that sucking on something helps. Guess who has had a caramel hard candy in their mouth almost constantly all day to avoid the pain? Not me eating an entire bag of candy today 🙃

OK! On to other thing now. Due to... the previous paragraph... NaNo basically didn't happen. I mean, it did, and if you go to the profile there, it will tell you I completed it, but I didn't hit my goal of 125k. I barely broke 50k. Which, lemme tell you, isn't making me feel super great with the whole anxiety thing. However, my Eternal Keeper of Time and Eternal Confused Cookie Goddess have informed me I have to give myself grace. That I need to accept that life happened and it's ok to not be where I had planned to be. My mom and C.O. agree. Now, the trick is to get my anxiety to agree to those terms (spoiler: it's not going well.) 

I've done some organizing in my life. I mean, I had some of this done before, but I've been working on modifications to it. I have a writing schedule planned out until like... the end of 2026. I already have names for the rest of the Justified series books! I also already found a series to work start writing once I wrap up the Justified series. The thought of that is bittersweet. I'm excited to see it come to a close, but at the same time... I really love being with these characters. I'm hoping once I have the remaining books finished, I will have closure with them, but we'll see. It will end at four novels and two anthologies.

I'm going to be messing with the formatting of the post schedule here. Every two weeks might be a thing until the end of the year, but I'd like to get back to weekly posts. I like them. I just don't have the content for that right now. Getting more put together has been harder with everything going on, so I finally reached the end of the line (aside from excerpts, which I pull as I'm writing). I'm also going to try to get back to making these weekly-whatevers.... actually weekly. 

I'm on Insta now!! You can find me at _falling.in.place_ I try to post something every couple of days, but it depends on what else is happening. So, go follow me there!

Ok, I need to work on things. December is going to be busy as hell for me as I try to get this ship righted again. 

One more thing... HOW BOUT THOSE LIONS!!!! 8-3 BABY!! 8-3!!! that is all

Until next week ♥

Matchstick Excerpt 11: The Choice

There wasn’t a magic signature at all. Whatever this was, it wouldn’t blow up if I touched it. I carefully opened the door. It was a piece of fabric, roughly cut, that had been rolled up and laid across the floorboards. I glanced around quickly to make sure no one was paying attention to me. I carefully unrolled it. I didn’t want to alert anyone else just yet. No need to send everyone running if they didn’t need to. There was a note and a couple of pictures attached to it.

You are not as smart as you think you are, it said across the top.

Underneath it were Polaroids of Arthur and me from today. One from each location we’d been to except this one. My jaw clenched. I was tired of this bullshit.

Tick Tock. Who will you save? was scrawled across the bottom.

My heart dropped, and my hands started to shake as I tossed the fabric square back in the car.

“She knows we are all here,” I said frantically. “There was a note in my car. It asked me who I was going to save.”

“I haven’t seen anything on the cameras,” Elise said.

“I’ll come to you,” Mel said. “I can get my car later. Arthur put a call into Annabell. We need to bail.”

“I’m not calling her. I’m going to her. If they know we’re here, there’s no need to pretend,” he said.

It sounded like he was jogging. As his breathing picked up, so did my heart rate. I was paralyzed. I didn’t know where to go or who would need it. These games made me want to scream. She was always a step ahead of us, playing with our lives.

“There wasn’t a picture of Mel,” I said quietly.

“What?” Elise and Arthur said.

“There wasn’t a picture of Mel,” I said louder. “Bethany doesn’t know she is here. Don’t come to me, we need to go to them. It asked me who I would save.”

Just as I started moving toward them, two shots rang out. Arthur cursed and dropped off the call.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Contents are subject to change or may be removed from the final novel entirely.)

Moonlight and Honey

I've been struggling with my anxiety a lot lately. It's gotten pretty bad. To help deal with it, I'm changing my meds. I think it will be good, but it can take 2-4 weeks for them to truly take hold. So, I've been a little bit of a mess. But it's fine. This is fine... To ease some of the things I'm trying to maintain right now, I've changed the blog schedule. The weekly whatever posts will still be weekly (mostly), but the extras and excerpts are now going out every two weeks instead of every week. It gives me more time to be on top of things. I might change it back once I get everything on track again, we'll see. 

SO! I wanted things to make me happy. Today, I bought three new candles!! Moonlight and honey is the name of one of them. It smells so good!!The other two are applewood and incense and sea and land.  The jars are pretty, the scents are pretty, and I'm very happy I decided to buy them today. I'm sitting here right now (on Thursday??) writing this while the moonlight and honey candle burns. 

I haven't written anything yet today, so I'm going to finish this up and then go do that. The goals for NaNo this time around require about 4k words a day. That may or may not sound like a lot. I'm here to tell you... it's a lot. I work better under some pressure. Usually. Unless it's too much pressure and I push through while having a breakdown. It's hard to say. BUT! The words will get written today. 

The thing with drafts is they don't have to be good. First drafts just... aren't good. They aren't necessarily bad (but they can be, or at least have really bad parts), but they just aren't good. The writing process is messy as hell. Ideas show up and they sound great and you write them and you're like, "OMG I LOVE IT!!" aaaaand then you realize it broke like eight other parts of the book and have to figure out what to do about it. When I wrote my first book it took me a very long time. I was convinced it needed to be written the way it would be published. That everything needed to be smooth and polished as I went. That I needed to stop and edit along the way to make sure I was going in the right direction. Rage was the same way in the beginning. I've let that go, mostly, and now I can write the books in about a month. That just means drafting months have a tight schedule. If I miss a day of writing I'm 4k words behind. I just have to keep up with it. 

Football starts soon. I'm not super invested in this particular game (but the Bears are in my division, so I care a little, even though they are very... not good). So I'm going to go write and watch football and enjoy my cheesecake (my birthday was Monday!) and bask in my candle. Tonight will be a good night. Because I said so damnit. 

Until next week ♥

Lyrics in my head:

I've been having a hard time adjusting 

I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting 

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that 

Pulled my car off the road to the lookout 

Could've followed my fears all the way down 

And maybe I don't quite know what to say

But I'm here in your doorway