Throne of Glass series- Sara J Maas ♥♥♥♥♥

Throne of Glass- Sara J Maas
Throne of Glass, 432 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥
Crown of Midnight, 432  pages- ♥♥♥♥♥
Heir of Fire, 576 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥

I love the structure of this series. The way the character relationships grow, change, and unfold, the way the world is built, and the voice that is shown. This is a quieter series than ACOTAR was. While ACOTAR was loud, in your face, and aggressive... TOG is subtle, fluid, and slow burn. It's a carefully cultivated dance of emotions that swirl around you until you are swept up in it. The first book was good. I liked it. I connected to it. The second book was better and I felt so much more connected to the people. But the third book... that third one so far is the best. It hits harder, it feels harder, and it's my favorite to date. I'm reading the fourth book right now. I'm sure I will forget to comment on it until after I've read several more books, but I have high hopes. 

I still have a lot of questions, there are still some things I am hesitant about when it comes to character relationships and trust, but, to me, that makes it better. It makes it feel real. I'm invested in these people. When I find a book that's good, like really good, the characters become real to me. Like friends I can surround myself with. Maas has achieved that here. 

Hitting this slower pace was like a balm to the chaos and aggression of ACOTAR (which I loved, but man I felt it so hard I didn't think I would be able to pick anything else up for a while). This one is still just as emotional and rollercoaster like, it just whispers to you instead of screaming. There are seven books total, and I'm ready to devour them. 

Overall Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥

I just wanna liiiive (aka read)

 After being told by a bunch of people that I've spent too much time doing various working related things... I took a break. I spent several glorious days reading. Living in someone else's made up world. I want to just keep doing that. I forgot how lovely it can be to sit down and devour books. Especially when the books are just so good you feel it in your soul. Alas... I have to do other things, but the break was nice. 

I'm also stressed beyond belief right now. Some of it is my own. Some of it is second hand. I know a couple people that are under heavy stress right now and I can feel it. It sits heavy in my chest because I can't fix it. I don't know what it is about me, but I just want to fix things for people. I want them to be ok. I want them to be happy (I was recently dragged to the personality test thing, and it wasn't a surprise to see I'm INFJ-T). So, between wishing I could help them and my own shit... It's been a lot. I think the break helped some with that too. Regardless, I just have to live with it. Work around and through it. I have hope that things will start to get better soon. I have to, otherwise it's just too hard. 

Speaking of stress... CampNaNo starts on Saturday. It's really starting to set in how much work that's going to be. I get flare ups of it. I've been able to talk myself down every time so far. So that's good. My Crows have been a huge help too. Blowing off steam with them brings me back down to earth. Especially the sisters. I love them. 

I need to strike a better balance in my life. I bounce from one thing to another with such intensity that I can barely breathe sometimes. I'm definitely missing C.O. right now. I still haven't gotten my appointments with him back. I still tell myself what I know he would tell me, but it's not quite the same. I'm productive, but also adrift... if that makes any sense. It probably doesn't lol I should be more capable of describing my own shit (ya know, the whole writer thing...), but I am not. So. I'm a very productive adrift person. Sigh.

I've been (lovingly) bullied into writing a book that has always been more of a joke. I don't know when it's going to happen for sure. It's one of those things that will get occasional attention until I'm in a fantastic place with my scheduled series'. I can't give it my full attention right now. It freaks me out a little to be writing this book... I'm not ready to give details about it yet. Just that it's a completely different beast from what I'm doing now. It's non-fiction for one... So, we'll see how that goes. 

I'm off to write some more backstories for this place of my own personal insanity. My characters are screaming at me. They need to be let out for a little while. 

Until next week ♥

Lyrics in my head:
And I'm not even sorry
Nights are so starry, blood moon lit
It must be counterfeit 
I think there's been a glitch

Matchstick Excerpt 4: Healing

 “The bandages can probably come off now,” he said as I helped him sit on the bed. “Cali said they only needed to be there long enough to left the creams take effect.”

“Happy to be rid of them?” I asked as I helped him take his shirt off. Maneuvering his arms to do it on his own was still taxing.

“Yes. Not only does that mean I am close to fully healed, but I don’t have to deal with them catching on things, pulling at the skin, or impeding movements.”

I carefully removed the bandages. All of his skill looked much better than it had before. There were still some pink spots, and some of the skin was textured now. It would likely stay that way for a long while. He tried to hide it from me, but I knew how much he was worried about it.

I had to keep reminding myself that I am not entitled to thoughts he hasn’t willingly shared. He didn’t want me to know, and he didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t my place to make him. I ached to tell him how I felt about it. It wasn’t vain, it was human. It was a change that he didn’t ask for. I wanted to tell him that I cared about him exactly the same as I had before. I wanted him to know that it wouldn’t change anything for me. That I still thought he was incredibly and tantalizingly attractive.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t dive into reassuring all of his fears because he didn’t want me to know them. He tried to hide them, and I didn’t realize it until I found them. This was new territory for me. I didn’t know if I should tell him or not. Staying silence felt dishonest, but telling him felt like a betrayal or a violation of his innermost self.

I moved between his knees and leaned into him, letting my arms rest lightly on his shoulders. I kissed his forehead as his arms came around my waist. I held onto him for a minute before stepping back to help him lay down.

“Come lay next to me. I want to talk to you about something,” he said softly.

“This doesn’t sound like a good something,” I replied as I helped him get situated.

“It’s not bad, it’s just important.”

I pulled my jeans off before sliding into the other side of the bed. He shifted closer to me, but didn’t rest his head on my shoulder. I turned onto my side and took his hand.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Content here is subject to change or be removed entirely from the finished novel.)

ACOTAR series- Sara J Maas- ♥♥♥♥♥

 Sara J Maas- ACOTAR series
A Court of Thorns and Roses, 419 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥
A Court of Mist and Fury, 624 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥
A Court of Wings and Ruin, 699 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥
A Court of Frost and Starlight, 272 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥
A Court of Silver Flame, 757 pages- ♥♥♥♥♥

Ok, I've gotten bad about writing a review for each book. I kinda can't help myself when I feel the need to read them all so fast. This series is SOUL. SHATTERING. in the best way possible. I loved it The whole thing. There is one character that I want to marry. I'm basically in love. It's fine. 

Every book is just as good as the one before it, but like ACOMAF is probably my favorite. I was hooked pretty fast, and then Maas just kept me there. I cannot recommend these books enough. Like, I hear music now and it reminds me of the characters. I have spam texted my sister (who was the one that dropped these on my coffee table and demanded I read them) about each book. She was getting emotional update after emotional update. Like... I HATE THIS BOOK, and then OMG IT'S JUST SO GOOD. It's a rollercoaster, strap yourself in. Just be forewarned... there is some graphic violence and very smutty sex scenes lol so, if you can handle that.. read these books immediately. 

Maas likes to torment you. Over and over again. I hate her. But I love her so much. There are supposed to be two more books. I need them in my life right now... 

Rating- ♥♥♥♥♥

So scarlet, it was, maroon

 Don't mind me. Just mildly obsessed with the Midnights album. I mean, I have been for a while, but it's hitting harder now. But come on... Maroon? Glitch? Anti-hero? Vigilante Shit? Mastermind? Bejeweled? Karma? It's just so good. So good. I may or may not be using pieces of lyrics for my Discord status... 

I'm back on Tumblr now? Looks like they've changed course, and I'm happy about it. It also gives me somewhere to be since I can't mindless scroll Reddit when I need a second of downtime. I've had that account for 12 years. I was there when a lot of Reddit lore was made (some of it as a lurker), but I bailed in support of the blackout. There is still time for them to correct this, but I have a feeling they won't. So, goodbye, Reddit, this is the end for us. 

I finished editing Matchstick! I'm living the dream over here. More productive than I've ever been. It's great. I have some time to get stuff ready to be scheduled here, and then on the 1st, I jump into writing Trust. It's gunna be wild. I can feel it. Vanessa is itching to tell me things. Hopefully I can keep it coherent or the editing is going to SUCK.

I'm running a little bit on fumes right now. Sleep has been not great, and, because I apparently hate myself, I've added weight training back to my workouts? So. I'm sore AND tired. At least when I exhaust my body, the writing gets easier. Maybe that will come in handy. 

Ok. I have things to do, probably some relaxation to find... 

Until next week! ♥

An Interview: Arthur

“Thank you for taking the time to sit down with me.”

“My pleasure,” Arthur said as he sat down. “I’ve got a lot on my plate, though. If we could keep this quick, I’d appreciate it.”

“Of course. Let’s jump right in. How do you take your coffee?”

“Little bit of half and half, but I prefer tea. Seems to hit better.”

He leaned back in the chair and propped his elbow up on the back of it. At a glance, he looked relaxed, but if you looked closer, you could see he was coiled for action. He could be on his feet in a heartbeat if needed.

“Where is your favorite place?”

“Joe and Renee’s house,” he said without hesitation. “They are my family. Watching the girls grow up has been one of the best things in my life.”

“That’s very sweet. You’ve spent a lot of time there?”

“I spend most of my time there when I’m not working. It’s been a lot more in recent years,” he said.

He started to relax a little more. Some of the tension eased out of him. There was still a silent strength about him. His expression was unchanging. He was a hard man to read.

“What’s your favorite book?”

“Anything paranormal,” he said with a grin.

“Onyx said he likes things with vampires. I find it amusing that you like things with secret cultures while you belong to one yourself.”

“That’s what makes it so interesting. How interesting would it be to find out there are even more secret worlds out there? We exist; who says they can’t?”

He leaned forward slightly. He was still guarded, but his eyes had lit up now.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“Pulp Fiction,” he said with a laugh. “There is so much to unpack with it. So many ways to enjoy it. It’s a wild ride.”

“That's surprising.”

“I could see that, but it’s the humor and overall impact that makes it so great. Every time you watch it, you pick out something else to love about it.”

“What’s a hobby you have?”

“I like woodworking and home improvements.”

“What is it that drew you to those?”

“I like seeing things created,” he said, tipping his head to the side. “I’ve ended a lot of lives. Some of them deserved it, others… well, I can’t ever be sure. Seeing that I can use my hands to create and not just destroy is important for my sanity.”

“I think that sounds reasonable.”

“A lot of us are like that. I know Annabell likes to create things too.”

He glanced at his watch and then clasped his hands together. He was ready to head back.

“Only a couple more questions, then you can be on your way. What skill do you have that might be surprising?”

“I crochet,” he said with a grin. “I don’t do it often anymore, but I can kill someone in an unlimited number of ways and then come home and make a blanket.”

“What does the perfect vacation look like to you?”

“Books, and a lot of them. Wood would also be nice. I don’t have much of a preference on location. Probably not in a city since it isn’t quiet. I’d want to read and craft things.”

“What about people to have with you?”

“I’m not opposed to having people around,” he said thoughtfully. “But it would depend on the timing. Sometimes the time alone would be great. Others, being surrounded by people I love would also be great.”

“What about a perfect date?”

“Sky diving,” he said with a wicked grin. “Maybe not always. Doing something wild and spontaneous and adrenaline-pumping makes for the best dates. It’s something you’ll always remember.”

“Anyone you would date has to have that taste for danger, an adrenaline junky.”

“Absolutely,” he said, maintaining his grin.

“I really appreciate your time. I think that’s all I’ve got for you.”

“It was an honor. I’ve got a lot to take care of. I’m sure there will be more interviews in the future,” he said as he stood.

“There most certainly will be.”

He nodded his head in acknowledgment and strode toward the door.

I'm fine. This is fine.

 I may or may not have used a title like that before. It's fine. I'm exhausted. My brain is fried. I pushed through round three of edits much faster than I thought I could. Round four sounds like a tomorrow problem to me. Aaaaaand I'm writing this on the day it's being published?? What?? I know. It's crazy. I've been going crazy lately. Too much to do and not enough time to do it. 

My sister got married last weekend! It was a blast. I ended up drinking a lot and drunk texting my other sister (who wasn't able to make it, 1400 miles is pretty far away...) I'm glad I have her. I don't know what would have happened if I started drunk texting other people as much as I did her lol I also danced for like six hours. What I learned is I am too old for this. Hung over and barely able to walk the next day. I got to hang out with her maid of honor, which was awesome. She has basically been family for a long time. And her speech made me cry. I'm still mad at her for that lol 

If everything goes as planned... I will be done with Matchstick ON TIME. I'm feeling weirdly productive lately. If I can get Trust written in it's entirety for CampNaNo... I will be set to publish twice next year too. I'm happy. Things are really good right now. 

Also, I found a writers group? I don't know if I mentioned that last week. Maybe I did. See earlier comment about brain being fried. Awesome group of people. I love talking to all of them. It makes this whole process better. A few people in particular. The support and motivation is unmatched anywhere. I'm so grateful. I really do love it there. 

Ok, I'm off to play something mindless for the rest of the night. 

Until next week ♥

Lexi: Moving Day

Lexi had lived in that house for almost 60 years. It was strange leaving it. It had been her choice. Her sister wanted to move out of the city walls. She wanted more space now that she was promised. She didn’t see the appeal of it all, though.

It’s not that she hated the idea of coalescing and having children, just that it felt very inconvenient. Maybe in a few more years, she would consider it. Maybe.

Lexi figured it would be a good time to make a change. She didn’t know how well she’d fair living in this house alone. It would probably feel too much like being strangled with memories.

She walked slowly through the now empty house. The marks on the wall Laci made while trying to get thorny vines to do her bidding. A height chart their parents had insisted on. The worn carpet and chipping paint.

She and Laci could have gotten it all fixed. They climbed the status ladder, gained favor, and now they do more than well in their own right. The flaws, marks, scrapes, and bumps made the house home. She leaned against the door frame of the patio.

“Bittersweet, isn’t it?” Laci said as she came up behind her.

“Mhmm,” Lexi grunted.

“Oh, come on!” Laci whined. “If there was ever a time to show some emotion, it’s now! All the memories, the heartbreak, the love, the nostalgia of it all!”

Lexi didn’t say anything. She and Laci had always been exact opposites. She rarely showed emotions outwardly. She internalized, thought about, and quietly worked through things. Laci, on the other hand, never had a thought or emotion she didn’t say out loud.

“Fine. Be all stoic and brooding,” Laci conceded. “Alex is waiting for me. So, I guess I’d better head out.”

Lexi knew it was coming but was still almost knocked over as Laci enveloped her in a tight hug.

“You know you can still call me or come over anytime. You aren’t leaving the country. Hell, you’re barely leaving the city,” Lexi grumbled as she hugged her back.

“I know, but still. I’ll miss living with you.”

“Maybe this change will bring great things to each of us.”

“Yes. It definitely will,” Laci said, stepping back and swiping at her eyes. “Maybe we will become closer than ever too!”

She stood awkwardly for a minute, looking around one last time before walking out the front door to her partner.

Lexi needed to leave too, but she couldn’t bring herself to walk out quite yet. She stepped out into the backyard and reached for her magic. She gently coaxed all the plants to grow for her. She brought them all to bloom and took in the fragrance they threw off. She sent them all the love she could. The next owner better appreciate all the beauty back here. All her lovely plants perched prettily everywhere you looked.

She tipped her head back as she felt her eyes welling up. She squeezed them shut and took a deep breath, demanding not a drop spill over. Once she regained control of herself, she looked over her flowers one last time before making her way to the front door. As she pulled the door closed behind her, a single tear slid down her cheek. She swiped it away aggressively, but her right eye produced another one. The traitor.

A World of Madness

 I'm feeling a little bit like a crazy person, I'm not gunna lie. I've got so many projects going and it's fantastic and feels a little bit like a dream. I don't know how I'm pulling this off. Rage should be ready to go by October, Matchstick will be ready to go by February of next year... I've already made plans for July's CampNaNo. This is all getting done. It's madness. I'm here for it. 

I'm being more ambitious with CampNano this time around. Which is saying a lot because I thought April's was ambitious... I'm going to get the second book of the Justified series written. All 110,000 words. I'm afraid. Excited, but afraid. I have a tendency to set unachievable goals for myself, but I managed to get Matchstick written in a month, what's 40,000 more words?? 

Speaking of Justified... the second book has a working title: Trust! I have some plans, we'll see how it goes, but I like it. I think it fits, so it will probably stick around. Now I just need to get it written. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it... If only. 

Editing for Matchstick is coming along, but I wish I was getting through it faster. I don't know if I will be done with it before it's time to start on Trust. I guess we'll see, but I'm willing to put it off to make sure I can be fully tuned into CampNaNo. 

I have writing friends now? It's super cool! I've talked to other writers on and off, but I don't think I can say I'd ever found a group until now. I'm loving it. I just have to remember talking to said writer friends all the time instead of writing is a bad plan. The key to it all is balance. Which is something I'm super great at! (That was such a huge lie omg if you can consider spinning around in circles on the ground screaming as balance then I've got it in spades)

The nice weather is in full swing now! I'm so excited about being able to spend every minute of the day on the porch! I basically never leave it unless I have to. Being able to work out here is one of the greatest things of all time. Especially when my kitten choses to hang out with me out here too. The benefits of a screened in porch: being outside AND kitty cuddles. This is the good life. 

My sister is getting married Saturday! I'm not IN this one, so I have almost zero responsibility lol There hasn't been much I've needed to do ahead of time, but on the day of, I'll be helping with the set up and the takedown. And Friday, there is going to be pizza! It should be fun! 

Until next week ♥

Meant to add this to last week (ya know, the one I didn't do until AFTER Thursday...) The Child Unit and I in Boston!

Matchstick Excerpt 3: Bait

I looked down at my hands again. The idea of using her as bait made me nervous in ways I didn’t know how to express. It felt like it was uncaring, even though she was the one that volunteered for the position.

“When?” I finally asked.

“I need to talk to Arthur about it, and I know he won’t be particularly happy with the plan either.”

“I don’t want to be there when you tell him,” I said, managing a small smile.

“I make the most sense. I’m trained to watch out for myself, and I’m less intimidating than anyone else. It’s one of the reasons I was so good at my job. No one thought a short, thin, blonde could possibly do the things I did.”

“The first time I met you I could not figure out how you would be helpful,” I admitted.

“Most people feel that way,” she said smiling brightly. “So I lean into it and use it to my advantage.”

I wrung my hands together. I knew she was trying to lighten my mood. Somehow, her Arthur, and Onyx could flip in and out of business mode on a dime. Times like this they could be completely carefree and almost happy. Onyx had tried to explain it to me several times, but I still couldn’t really understand it.

“How could poor, little ol’ me be capable of something so terrible,” she said, ramping up her already heavy southern drawl and fanning herself with her hand.

That got a genuine smile out of me. It was way too dramatic to be even close to believable. The flutter of her eye lashes was the gem on top of it all. I was glad she was here with me. I wanted to be up at the hospital to see my dad, but I knew she was right and I needed to stay here.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. The contents may be changed or removed entirely from the finished novel.)

Schedules are hard

 Getting back into a rhythm has been challenging at best. It took what felt like forever for me to recover from the exhaustion of the driving and the socializing and everything else. It just now occurred to me that a post didn't go up Thursday of this week... whoops. 

I've ben trying to get back into editing, and finally hit stride! The second round of it is just about done now. I just have to add all the changes I made into the the document. I'm going to start on the third round right after that. I'm hoping I will be pretty happy with it at that point, but I guess we'll see. 

My sister has made me read ACOTAR. I keep meaning to write about it, but I'm in love and bouncing from one book to the next faster than I can do it soooo. It's just so good (which is apparently a very controversial take to have lol). Either way, I love it. I'm obsessed. To the stars that listen, and the dreams that are answered. 

Until next week ♥