Color Me Productive

 

First, Valentine's Day nails! I usually do my nails every two-ish weeks. Sometimes I do them a little sooner, it just depends on how well they are holding up. However, as cute as Valentine's Day stuff is... I actually hate it as a holiday. "Lets hype up a romantic day so much that it becomes stressful and everyone ends up disappointed!" Doesn't that sound great! I just wish so many people didn't mark it as an important milestone to judge the status of their relationship. I've had friends talk about it (from all genders) and now I hear my 17 year old daughter talk about it. Take the pressure off guys. One day of the year shouldn't decide the fate of your relationship. Ok, I'm done now.

I have been more productive in the last couple weeks than I had been in a while. I'm really digging it. I've had so much crazy in my life that maintaining a schedule and making plans seemed like an effort in futility. Hitting this kind of stride is a huge deal for me, so I always try to make the best of it. I have bi-polar disorder. I've been medicated for a little over a year now (I wasn't for a long time after a bad reaction to one set of meds). It really does help me a lot, but it isn't a cure. Toss in the ADHD and anxiety and you've got a party. I've started talking about it more because it's something that should be talked about. 

Even when medicated, I live in constant flow of peaks and valleys. My "normal" floats somewhere above or below what neuro-typical people experience as "normal". I see my therapist every week and he is super great. Even when I tell him that I'm pretty sure he has to tell me he's proud of what I am accomplishing (even when I feel like I have accomplished nothing) because it's in the secret social work rule book and he tells me there isn't a rulebook, secret or otherwise, of what he has to stay to his clients, but, like, that sounds like something the secret rulebook would say you have to say if the secret rulebook is brought up, doesn't it? Doesn't it?? 

Anyway, he puts up with me, he pushes me to challenge the stupid give up thoughts and make them into stupid go-to thoughts and it's helping. Even when I grumble about how if things would just work exactly how I want them to... I wouldn't be stressed out! So, I like to take full of advantage of these moments when my mind is clear and my drive is strong. I'm trying to get as many posts, and news, and whatever else queued up before the downswing comes in. These weekly more personal ones (what will most likely stay as Thursday) are done up either Sunday or Monday. So if they go missing for a little while...Well, they'll come back when I get my shit back together again.

Until next week! ♥

Two of my babies! Alexandria (Peanut) 4, Spade 20

I thought I was going to work. Peanut decided I was not.

When I work on the couch... sometimes it gets a little crowded.. (Turtle 4, is the middle, he's Xander's bio brother!)