Matchstick Excerpt 4: Healing

 “The bandages can probably come off now,” he said as I helped him sit on the bed. “Cali said they only needed to be there long enough to left the creams take effect.”

“Happy to be rid of them?” I asked as I helped him take his shirt off. Maneuvering his arms to do it on his own was still taxing.

“Yes. Not only does that mean I am close to fully healed, but I don’t have to deal with them catching on things, pulling at the skin, or impeding movements.”

I carefully removed the bandages. All of his skill looked much better than it had before. There were still some pink spots, and some of the skin was textured now. It would likely stay that way for a long while. He tried to hide it from me, but I knew how much he was worried about it.

I had to keep reminding myself that I am not entitled to thoughts he hasn’t willingly shared. He didn’t want me to know, and he didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t my place to make him. I ached to tell him how I felt about it. It wasn’t vain, it was human. It was a change that he didn’t ask for. I wanted to tell him that I cared about him exactly the same as I had before. I wanted him to know that it wouldn’t change anything for me. That I still thought he was incredibly and tantalizingly attractive.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t dive into reassuring all of his fears because he didn’t want me to know them. He tried to hide them, and I didn’t realize it until I found them. This was new territory for me. I didn’t know if I should tell him or not. Staying silence felt dishonest, but telling him felt like a betrayal or a violation of his innermost self.

I moved between his knees and leaned into him, letting my arms rest lightly on his shoulders. I kissed his forehead as his arms came around my waist. I held onto him for a minute before stepping back to help him lay down.

“Come lay next to me. I want to talk to you about something,” he said softly.

“This doesn’t sound like a good something,” I replied as I helped him get situated.

“It’s not bad, it’s just important.”

I pulled my jeans off before sliding into the other side of the bed. He shifted closer to me, but didn’t rest his head on my shoulder. I turned onto my side and took his hand.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. Content here is subject to change or be removed entirely from the finished novel.)