An Interview: Annabell

 

“Good evening, Annabell. How are you doing?”

“Very well, thank you,” she said, plopping down in the chair and tucking her legs under her. “What about yourself?”

“I’m doing just fine. You’re a hard woman to schedule with.”

“I always try to keep myself busy, but things are especially chaotic now.”

“Let’s get started; I don’t want to take up all your time.”

“That’s sweet of you, darlin’,” she said with a smile. “I’m more than happy to be here.”

“How do you take your coffee?”

“I like chicory coffee. It’s not always available when you travel all over the world, so I adapt. I’ll take whatever is on hand and drink it black, but peppermint can be a fun way to spice it up.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had or heard of chicory coffee.”

“Then you’re missing out,” she said with a wink.

“Where is your favorite place?”

“The mountains,” she said without hesitation. Looking out from a summit is a feeling like no other, but the journey is spectacular too. Doesn’t have to be the highest peaks of the highest mountains. I like ‘em better when they aren’t anyway. Being able to take your time and really experience it all.”

“That sounds amazing. How did you get started climbing mountains?”

“It was a job, actually,” she said, tipping her head to the side. “There was a remote cabin I had to get to, and the trip up there was so beautiful, I started climbing on my own time.”

“What’s your favorite book?”

“I like biographies. Anything that gives you a peak into someone else’s life,” she said, running her fingers through her hair, absentmindedly twirling the ends around her fingers when she got there. It was the only fidgeting she’d done since she sat down.

“Is there one you like more than others?”

“They are all too different to pick. They each have their own merits and interesting points. It’d be way too much to weigh them against each other like that.”

She shifted sideways in the chair, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them.

“This is a fantastic chair. I think I need one of these.”

“I’m sure I could have someone let you know where we got it.”

“That would be fantastic,” she said with a smile. “I was just thinkin’ how I could curl up like this with a book. All that’s missing is some soft background music.”

“What kind of music would you put on?”

“Depends,” she said thoughtfully. “A lot of it is mood-based, but it doesn’t matter much since it’s just to keep the silence away.”

“We’ll have to dive into that another time. What’s your favorite movie?”

“Is it too predictable that I’d say The Notebook?” she asked, scrunching up her nose. “I know it has all kinds of problems, and if you sat down and dove into all the details, it’s not great… but after all they went through over the years, and the crazy and the bad and all that… they end up together. They find their way, and as sad as the ending can be, it’s also heartwarming that he loves her so much.”

“Could that be something you’ve been looking for?”

“Not exactly,” she said, picking at her jeans. “It’s not a roadmap or anything, but the overall idea of having someone in your life that even when you’re old, and your mind isn’t all there, they still love you so completely.”

“It does sound lovely.”

She nodded, still picking at her jeans.

“What’s a hobby you have?”

“Weapons,” she said with a grin. “Learning them, practicing them, becoming one of the best with them.”

“That’s not really a hobby for you, though. It’s part of your job.”

“It can be both. I had to be proficient with some of them, but I didn’t have to search out all the weapons I could find and hone them into precision. That’s something I do on my own.”

“What skill do you have that might be surprising?”

“I don’t know that any skill should be surprising,” she said, tipping her head to the side. “Anyone can learn anything they find interesting with enough interest and determination.”

“That’s a fair assessment. However, it does happen anyway. We peg the kinds of things a person should do or would do based on how they look or do other tasks.”

“I try my damnedest not to do that. I’m a short, petite, southern blonde with a sweet smile. I can still kill you in 100 different ways with what’s in this room. No one takes me seriously at first. Sticking people in boxes can be insulting, but it can also cause you to under, or over, estimate someone.”

“Well, you’ve pretty much already answered this next question, but what does the perfect vacation look like to you?”

“The mountains,” she said with a grin. “Having enough time to really enjoy climbing and then camping out before coming back down.”

“What about a perfect date?”

“All dates are different because of the company you have with you. I would want someone with a sense of adventure, but that doesn’t mean they are ready to jump into something I want to try. It can be an exciting experience to take someone on a journey you’ve been on, and they haven’t, but it can also be exciting to jump into something new together.”

“So you don’t have a particular place or activity, just something adventurous?”

“Pretty much!”

“Well, thank you for your time, Annabell. It was nice to catch up with you.”

“You are very welcome, darlin’! It was fun,” she said as she stood up and stretched before ambling to the door. “Oh, and don’t forget to let me know about that chair.” With that, she stepped through the door.

Kitty Cat Cuddles and Busy Days

 The cat cuddles have been an important part of the week. I've been getting through the editing, finishing up a couple crochet projects, and preparing to head out for my best friend's wedding. It's all exciting and great, but also stressful. 

I leave in 10 days. I want to get the first round of edits done by then, but I was also hoping to get this blanket done too. I don't know if I will be able to accomplish both. I guess we'll see. 

Allergies have also been insane this week. I've felt like crap. I need that to be cleared up before the wedding. I can't look like I got hit by a truck while standing up there. We'll see. 

I feel like there is more I should say or wanted to say, but I can't think of anything right now. So, I'm going to leave it at that. 

Until next time ♥

Leaving Riverfell

 

Getting out of the city had been harder than they expected. Vanessa didn’t trust much of anything anymore, not that she was very trusting before, either. A couple of the street kids wanted to follow them, but most others wanted to stay in the city. All the gates were being watched, so they couldn’t walk out. Vanessa had wanted to leave two days before, but it just wasn’t possible.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” James whispered.

“No, but do you have a better idea?” Vanessa replied.

“Nope.”

“Ok, it’s almost dark enough. We need this to work,” she said.

Casey and Riley were sitting silently a few feet away. They were the youngest of our kids and didn’t want to be left on their own. James was glad they were coming with. The others were more prepared to take on the city on their own. They were taking over the house James and Vanessa set up, and after some teary goodbyes, they said they would continue trying to help other street kids. Vanessa wasn’t much for public displays of emotion, but that really meant a lot to her.

She looked around one more time and then gestured for James to help her move the platform. Casey and Riley saw them and came over to help.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to use your magic to get this all the way out here and then into position?” Riley asked.

“It would have been, but then I wouldn’t have the magic to get us out.”

“But you have a ton of magic,” Casey chimed in.

“Not yet, but maybe someday,” Vanessa said with a soft smile.

As abrasive and snarky as she could be, she had a soft spot for the kids. She would never admit to having any soft spots, but you could see it in her eyes whenever the kids were around. She had been teaching Casey how to use her magic efficiently. She’d had Casey drive the nails in to hold the platform of scavenged wood together.

She was 11 and had clung to Vanessa immediately. The two of them worked together to strengthen Casey’s magic enough that she was already starting to move past the incantations. Riley was a little jealous Vanessa couldn’t help her as much, but Vanessa only knew about fairy magic in theoreticals. She still worked with her all the time, though.

“Ok, everyone sit down and try to keep as still as possible. I know it will be hard but do your best. Casey, I will do most of it, but I want you to add your magic to mine so you can feel it working. Don’t push harder than I am, ok?” Vanessa whispered.

Casey’s eyes widened, but she nodded. Vanessa and James sat on the sides, and James took Casey’s hand to provide some silent support. Vanessa started using her magic, and James felt Casey tense up as she pulled on hers. The platform began to rise. It was a little shaky, and James had to resist the urge to steady himself.

“Careful,” Vanessa said softly. “I can feel you pushing too hard on that side.”

The platform steadied as it crested the wall that surrounded the city. The descent on the other side was much faster. James had a feeling it was because Vanessa was running low on magic. She had gotten a lot stronger, but she had a tendency to push herself too hard at every turn. He felt better once the platform was almost back on the ground.

“You did so good!” Vanessa whispered to Casey as we all got up and moved quickly into the trees. The forest didn’t start in earnest for quite a distance north, but there was still some tree cover. “We can camp out here for the night and catch a ride north on a merchant convoy in the morning.”

“We have to be quick, or we won’t make it, so you have to be ready,” James said.

“I’m going to go find a good place to set up a small shelter for the night,” Vanessa said.

James sat down on the ground as she walked out and leaned against a tree. The girls settled in on either side of him, and he put his arms around them. They tried to make life for the kids they took in as normal as possible, but squatting in abandoned buildings and scrounging for food wasn’t very normal. They didn’t have a complete plan yet. Once they snuck a ride on the convoy, they would bail just outside of Crestwall and make their way into Cypress Mountain. Vanessa didn’t want to risk another city just yet. Not with Kent looking for them.

The girls had fallen asleep. It had been a long day of preparing and then a long night of waiting. When Vanessa returned, she saw the girls were asleep, so she dropped down in front of James.

“I found a spot. I was going to have them help me so they could get some practice in, but I think they need the sleep. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll have something mostly acceptable for the night,” she whispered.

James nodded and was content waiting. It really didn’t take long at all. They wished they could’ve carried the girls, but it wasn’t possible. The shelter they moved off to was wedged between two trees, with a few branches precariously covering the top. She had put together a small fire, surrounded on three sides by a brunch hut. It would conceal the light well enough, and the dark night would make the smoke harder to pick out.

“Can this work?” Vanessa asked him after they got the girls settled.

“We can make it work. We always do,” James answered as he sat next to her by the fire.

“I was glad they decided to come with us so we can protect them, but now that we’re out here…”

“Hey, it will be ok.”

She leaned against him, and he wrapped his arms around her. Not all that long ago it was the other way around. She was always comforting him, reassuring him, but he had grown up. He realized how hard everything Vanessa dealt with was and didn’t want her to bear it all alone. He kissed her temple and squeezed her once.

“We will make it work, and we will make sure they are protected. We can take some time away from everything up in Cypress, and then from there, we can pick a city and try to get a business up and running like we talked about.”

“You sound confident.”

“That’s because I am.”

THIRTY-NINE DAYS

I WROTE A WHOLE BOOK IN THIRTY-NINE DAYS!!!!!! 

I can't believe it. I've checked and double-checked. I didn't imagine it or misread how many words I have. It's real. I did it. I completed CampNaNo. Matchstick is officially written. It's crazy. I'm over the moon. It's a fantastic end to a weird and stressful week. 

I'm setting it aside for today, and I start round one of edits tomorrow. My process has changed a lot since I first started writing. I can't say it's perfect now, but it's what's getting me there. As I was writing, I knew some things needed to be fleshed out more. Places, emotions, settings, etc. Some of it was just the need to move forward, to get the scene to the end I knew it would have. I was in a flow and needed to get it out without bogging myself down with all the particulars. This first round will address that. Making sure it reads how I want it to read. 

Second round will involve printing it and making all kinds of edits with pretty pens, then adding it to my document. My third is reading it again, checking for inconsistencies, plot holes I may have created with other edits, general flow, etc. Then it goes through my editing software (I ♥ Grammarly) to catch any weirdness my brain glossed over. 

I haven't decided if this one is going into beta. It probably should. The problem is it's the second in a series. Finding people who can be objective but also understand the flow from the first book will be harder. Rage had some dedicated betas, so the second book will be sent to them. I'll see how it goes. 

Publication of Matchstick will hopefully be in February of 2024. Once I'm through with edits here, I'll be jumping back to Justified. I'm hoping to make it the target of the July CampNaNo.

I'm celebrating today. There may or may not be some brandy later. ♥

No Pain, No Gain (cries in soreness)

 I'm being healthy. It sucks. I mean, it's good, and I know I'll feel better. The last time I made better food choices consistently and exercised regularly, I felt great. My asthma improved significantly, I slept better, I didn't feel as sluggish in the morning, and my patience improved. Getting back in the habit is hard. Getting into it again will be painful for a while. Right now, I'm sitting on my couch, trying not to move my abdomen too much. I have a tendency to jump into things too hard and fast. I'm pushing myself hard with these workouts (not in a dangerous way). I'm just crazy sore. I want to be able to do a 45 HIIT workout again. Probably not going to try that tomorrow lol 

I'm also a little bit freaking out. I leave to drive 850 miles in checks notes SIXTEEN DAYS. Wtf. I had like a year and a half. All of a sudden, it's like here?? I'm excited to see my best friend and to actually meet his fiancé! I'm just freaking out about the drive time (14 hours!!), leaving my cats for nine days, and being surrounded by a bunch of people I don't know. Once I'm on the road, I will be more excited. At the 10 hour mark, I will be over driving. Once I get there, I will be excited again. Is it really all that surprising someone with a pretty extreme anxiety condition is... anxious? lol 

Speaking of anxiety... I learned something recently. I have always had a lot of intrusive thoughts. Like all the time. If I'm close to stairs, my brain likes to tell me how I could fall down them headfirst. When I chop things as I cook, my brain likes to tell me how I could just cut a whole finger right off on accident. I mean... I don't want to go into graphic details, but my brain is constantly showing me how I could be maimed or killed (even the mild headache springing up right now could be a brain bleed that's about to kill me). I don't linger on them. I know they are ridiculous. You can't accidentally cut off a whole finger with a standard kitchen knife. I have a migraine condition, so headaches and migraines are a regular occurrence and not likely to be fatal. I thought this was normal. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. Hooooowever, it's apparently not normal to have them almost all the time with such horrible graphic detail. I was talking to my mom about this, and she was horrified at how many times in a day my brain tells me I could die. I guess this is just my life? Yay me?

All the writing things are going exceptionally well! I'm ahead of schedule to finish Matchstick by the end of the month! I still can't quite believe it. This is definitely a record for me. Aaaand I'm competitive by nature. I'm going to see if I can beat that record for the next book I write. I'm probably overreaching. That's fine. I do that a lot. It's probably not healthy, but I'm going to keep doing it anyway.

 

I wanted to do nail updates regularly. I did something stupid, though. In an attempt to cut corners in removing the gel polish, I started filing a lot of it off with an electric nail file. The problem? Apparently, as I was attempting to go after stubborn patches of polish, I was filing away layers of my actual nail. It sounds so obvious thinking about it now... So I have patches of my nails that are crazy thin and were actually sore. So, I put a thick layer of polish over those parts to protect them from direct contact with anything, but I'm not doing anything fancy with them. I'm going to backfill until they grow out a bunch and strengthen. I'm going to do them up nice before I leave for the wedding, but until then, they are just lime green! 

That's enough rambling for today. 

Until next week ♥

Matchstick Excerpt 1: The Getaway

 

“Are we there yet,” I asked Onyx with a grin.

“Almost,” he said, winking at me.

“You’ve been saying ‘almost’ for over an hour,” I laughed. “I think you need a new definition.”

“Just trying to keep you on your toes!”

“You still won’t tell me where we are going?”

“Nope, it’s still a secret.”

I stuck my hand out the window just enough to twirl it through the wind. We weren’t driving nearly as fast as we had the last time we took the Spider to a date. The suspense was killing me. He wouldn’t even tell me for sure what to pack. He said all I needed was some clothes and a bathing suit. I didn’t know how long he had been planning this, but he had already thought of everything. No matter what argument I made for not going, he had a counter argument. Arthur was there to back him up.

After all the effort and work we had put into tracking Dunham Marshawn, our next Order target, I felt obligated to be there for the last minute prep. We were going after him on Tuesday. I knew it wasn’t an argument I was going to win. So, I had to pack a bag for a trip I didn’t know anything about.

I was glad to be out of the house. Onyx kept telling me how important it was to enjoy the downtime when we had it, but it was still hard for me to accept. Maybe he was right after all. I didn’t want to tell him that. I already knew what look he would give me.

“Now we’re almost there,” Onyx said with his signature grin as he pulled off the expressway.

“There is nothing out here.”

“That’s the point. Wouldn’t be much of a getaway if there were people everywhere, would it?”

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. The content may change or be removed entirely from the finished novel.)

Being An Adult Sucks

 Here I am, at 8:30pm on Wednesday night, scrambling to get something done... This will be a short one. I know they go up on Thursday nights, but I don't want to cut it too close and miss it.

I spent this morning waiting for my tire place to look at my tire. It's been flat, like flat flat. I drove on it for longer than I should have. I knew what was wrong with it, but I was in denial. I called my roadside place and had them put my doughnut on. I've been driving on that for about two weeks. I finally decided to adult. I was right, the rim is old and corroded and damaged. They had scrubbed it before. Now it is toast. Done. Over. I have to replace it. The cheapest option is $190. I'm fine. This is fine. 

Then I spent the rest of the day at the hospital with Naomi. She has been having some issues. We don't really know what is going on. I'm not going to get into all the details because those aren't mine to give. She will be ok, it's just going to take more appointments and tests. Spending six hours in a hospital is not a good time. 

I'm a little behind on CampNaNo, but it isn't anything I can't make up if I put my mind to it. I still believe I can do this. It's still hard to believe I'm as far as I am. Having my mental state in a better place makes all the difference. It took me much longer to write Into the Flames, and Rage took way longer than I'd like to admit. I'm doing better and my writing is getting better. 

So, I haven't written anything today and I need to go do that or I can kiss my hopes of finishing in time goodbye. 

Until next week ♥

When Thomas met James, Continued

 

He was going to do it. He had wanted to for a while but was afraid of what the answer might be, especially if Vanessa was around. He had run into James numerous times since the coffee shop incident a few months ago. Luckily, they weren’t as eventful. Vanessa wouldn’t acknowledge him at all. That was probably for the best; he didn’t like her much. He tried not to be rude; obviously, she meant a lot to James for some reason.

Carly had warmed up to him a bit. Every once in a while, she’d hand him his coffee and tell him James had covered it already. That was what really seemed to wear him down. It took him a long time to accept that it was something James wanted to do. The first time, he got into an argument with Carly about it. She didn’t back down from anything. He once saw someone come in to rob her, and she somehow had them hanging their heads and apologizing. She ended up giving them free muffins. He didn’t hear what she had said, but it was impressive.

Thomas bounced on the balls of his feet, pumping himself up. He chickened out before and didn’t want it to happen again. He knew James would be in Carly’s soon. The problem was… Vanessa would be too. He paced back and forth.

“Grab a table and wait. That’s it. Just wait for them to get in there. Everything else can be decided from there,” he said to himself.

He squeezed his hands into tight fits a few times before walking across the street and into the coffee shop. The morning rush hadn’t started yet, so he was only of the only people inside.

“Morning, Thomas,” Carly said. She wasn’t exactly warm to him yet, but she wasn’t icy either.

“Good morning, Carly,” he said with a nervous smile.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re up to something,” she asked, looking him over carefully.

“Well… I… So, I think…” Thomas ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a puff of air. “I’m going to talk to James today. I think.”

“’bout time,” Carly said, crossing her arms over her chest. Thomas was stunned. He didn’t know how to respond. “I went from seeing you once or twice a month to at least twice a week, conveniently always when James will be in here.”

“I really didn’t think anyone would notice. Do you think he has?”

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. “Him and Vanessa don’t miss much.”

“How much is their coffee order usually?”

“Depends on the day. You lookin' to pay?”

“Yea, I just don’t know how much to give you.”

“Tell ya what. I can see effort on your part. I don’t know what is causing it, but it’s a good effort. Give me what their normal is, and I’ll cover the rest if it’s more than that. I’ll tell them it was all you.”

“You don’t have to cover the difference… I can cover it.”

“So can I.”

“Well, thank you,” Thomas said, looking at his feet.

Carly nodded and started to get his coffee ready. It wasn’t James that caused the change in him, not exactly, anyway. The day he met James, he was pulled into two different meetings about his demeanor. The employee he had made cry filed a complaint, and a supervisor in another department called him in to chastise him for how he carried himself in the building. He had been put on notice. Changes would be made, or he would be fired. He broke his knuckle punching a doorframe when he got home that night.

All the events from the day crashed around him, but there was this one little spec of good. James showed him kindness for no other reason than to be kind. He didn’t understand that. It’s not that he had never received kindness, just not from strangers. When he started to lose his temper with people, he would think about what James said about how it doesn’t hurt to be kind. His boss still wasn’t completely satisfied, he still lost his temper more than they would like him to, but as long as progress continued, he would have a job.

He took his coffee from Carly and made his way to a table off to the side. His stomach was in knots, and he couldn’t keep from shaking his leg as he waited. Carly kept glancing at him, trying to conceal her grin. He had come a long way but still had a long way to go. At least he stopped calling her Kailey.

When James walked in, he swore his heart stopped beating. This was probably a terrible idea. He turned and looked out the window. He could probably just slip out the door and never come back here again. He waited until James and Vanessa walked past where he was and stood up. He glanced back and saw Carly raise her eyebrow at him. He knew it was a challenge and swore internally as he sat back down.

“I’m glad we beat the rush,” Vanessa said to Carly. “Friday mornings are easier to relax and enjoy without a bunch of people around.”

“Says the woman that chose to work with people,” Carly said with a grin. “You’re coffee and muffins have already been paid for this morning.”

“By who?” Vanessa asked incredulously.

Carley nodded her head in Thomas’s direction. James grinned and winked but didn’t have time to say anything.

“Son of a bitch. Really?” Vanessa said, rolling her eyes. “I’d rather you just replace the skirt you ruined.”

“Be nice, V,” James said, bumping his shoulder into hers.

“I am nice! Just not to assholes.”

Thomas stood up, his face turning red as he geared up to tell her off.

“Hey now,” James said, stepping between them. “Thank you for the coffee and muffins. That was a very nice thing to do. Wasn’t it, V?”

“Whatever,” she grumbled as she took her stuff to a table as far away from Thomas as possible.

“I just… I wanted to thank you,” Thomas said, forcing the anger down.

“There’s nothing to thank me for, but I appreciate it,” James said as he ambled over.

Vanessa was mumbling to herself on the other side of the room.

“I’ve been thinking about you and what you said a lot. I remind myself of you almost every day,” Thomas started. “I mean… I don’t just spend all my time thinking about you; I meant I’ve been trying to get a handle on my temper, and what you said about kindness has helped.”

James sat down across from him and grinned.

“I’m glad it helped. See, sometimes a little kindness is all someone needs.”

“I also wanted to ask…” Thomas started, running his fingers through his hair, making it stick out everywhere. “You know what? Nevermind. Have a good day.”

He stood up so fast he almost knocked the table over. James reached for his arm, which stopped him in his track.

“Ask,” he said warmly.

“It’s ok. I’m ok. I’ll see you around.”

“Ask,” James said again, lightly squeezing Thomas’s forearm before letting go.

“Well, I just wanted to know if I could, maybe, have your number.”

James flashed him a brilliant smile and pulled out a business card.

“My cell phone is on the back,” he said.

“No. Nope. James! You cannot be serious! After the way he treated Carly AND his selfish disregard for everyone around him!” Vanessa said as she strode across the room.

“V, everyone has bad days. Some people might argue you can be a bit… aggressive.”

“That’s a completely different thing! I do NOT threaten to have people fired or to take away their livelihood because I don’t like their tone.”

Thomas started to say something, but James held up his hand.

“Do you trust me, V?”

“Of course I do!”

“Trust me now. I’m giving him a chance, whether you like it or not,” he said softly.

“I just know how much you deserve, and I don’t want to see someone take advantage of your kindness,” she said, giving Thomas a pointed look.

“I’m not trying to,” Thomas said, trying to mind his temper. “I just want a chance.”

James kissed her cheek and winked at her.

“Extend some kindness, V.”

“Fine. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’m not asking you to be,” James said. “Just be mad about it quietly.”

She gave him a dirty look before turning on her heel and stalking back over to her table.

“Weekdays are unpredictable. Saturdays are usually pretty good,” James said with a smile.

As he walked back over to the table Vanessa sat at, Thomas felt a sense of excitement for the possibilities to come. He finished his coffee, waved at James and Vanessa, and then headed off to work.

 

Girls of Paper and Fire Series- Natasha Ngan

Girls of Paper and Fire Series- Natasha Ngan
1. Girls of Paper and Fire
2. Girls of Storm and Shadow
3. Girls of Fate and Fury

 

It’s been a while since I finished this series, but I honestly didn’t know how to write about it. A simple review felt wrong. To give them stars and make some comments about pacing and character development… it felt wrong.

This series touches on serious topics that cripple people in the real world. Sexual violence, domestic violence, and how to heal from it all. There are a lot of details that are hard to read. As an adult. As a survivor. As a woman. It was hard sometimes to read. I remember thinking, “omg, this is marketed as a YA series… wtf.”

I get it now, though. I do. It’s important, and it’s real, and as Ngan talks about in one of the notes to the reader… teenage years are usually how it starts. For some, it happens much younger. I didn’t know how to process anything then. I don’t think our brains are wired to. I think this is an important read. I’m not going to go as far as saying everyone should read it. I know people who couldn’t handle parts of the story because of triggers from their own trauma. I think it is an important read for anyone that is able. It shows how the mental damage last far longer than the physical damage. It shows how hard it is to move forward and how we shoulder guilt we shouldn’t have to.

Ngan gave a beautiful journey of the after. The recovery. She showed how everyone handles it in their own way but that you can recover from it. You can put yourself back together again. You can heal.

This doesn’t feel like a series I can just review, so I’m not going to. Picking it apart to talk about the moving pieces feels wrong. Instead, I will tell you her writing style is phenomenal. Her immersion in the world and in the places is fantastic. I will tell you that I highly recommend this book series if you are able to read it.

Running Aimlessly Through Silverwood

 At this point, it feels like a lifetime ago. Rift was the first MMO I'd ever played. It's really the only one, tbh. I gave WoW a chance, but I hated it. Rift was a place I found community when I felt like I had none. A place I made friends when I desperately needed it. Silverwood was one of my favorite places to roam. When Rift After Dark (for those of us that logged in late at night where sometimes it was drunk silliness and others it was sober deep conversations) came, I often wandered around aimlessly there while talking to people. I was a GL there. I've made a couple life long friends there. One of whom is actually getting married in May, and I'll be a groomsman at the wedding. Every once in a while, I miss it. Right now is one of those times. I don't have time for something like that. Even if I put in the work to find another game like that to play, I just can't dedicate myself to the grind. It was a really sad time for me when Rift died (I know there are still people that play, but for those of us that were there for Storm Legion, it just isn't the same). Anyway, it's just something I have been thinking about this week. 

Changes in barometric pressure are going to kill me. My allergies and sinus issues have been going wild. It's been this never-ending cycle of sneezing, headaches, and feeling like my face is going to pop open. It's not fun. What's less fun is the daily allergy meds I take do absolutely nothing for my body's reaction to pressure changes. It doesn't help that I'm allergic to living in general. That isn't an exaggeration. Think of any product you use, and I can probably name at least one brand of it that I'm allergic to. Add that to regular ones like pollen, dust, and dander from any animal, and you've got a party. I'm allergic to leaves, the bark of trees, grass, and the sun. Yes. I am allergic to the sun. Some are worse than others. Like, if I look at a rabbit, my eyes will swell shut. So, I've been feeling a lot like someone hit me with a truck. 

The weather changes aren't all bad. I'm officially back to having my office on my porch!! I'm sure there will still be a few days that get cold enough to keep me in the house, but I will be out here as much as humanly possible. I know, with all my allergies, that probably sounds crazy. I don't care. The sun allergy is only bad for the first couple weeks I'm out here, then it shifts down to be a mild annoyance. It's worth it to be out here. The cats are happy too. They have missed their porch time. There are birds to watch, people to keep an eye on, and cars to give side eyes to. They still haven't figured out why we allow all these other people to get so close to their house. It's a problem.

I spent a long time doing 60-90 minutes of exercise a day, drinking a metric fuckton of water, and trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Then stuff happened, and I was drinking less water and spending a lot of time on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, eating shit food while editing. Let me tell you, I felt better when I was doing the former than the latter. I need to get back into being healthy and stuff. Why is it so hard to go back to healthy habits and so easy to slip into bad ones? That is a goal for now. I probably can't dive into a 90 minute workout without feeling like I'm going to die, but I need to start doing something. I miss feeling better. 

CampNano... I was doing so well. I was ahead of the curve. I was making progress... Then I got behind on the gnome and went into panic crochet mode. I didn't write at all for 3 days. I'm no longer ahead, but I'm not too far behind, in theory. I need to work on getting that all caught up so I can finish this by the end of the month. I'm almost halfway through the book. Isn't that crazy?? I feel like it's crazy. That's fine. I'm fine. I'm going to write an entire book in like a month... I still can't believe that. I did get most of the gnome done. He didn't get a leprechaun outfit, and his suitcase isn't done yet, but everything else was done and polished. Once that stuff is done, it will be on its way to live with the gnome!

Ok, I've rambled enough, I think. I need to go get some writing done. Gotta catch up on those CampNaNo goals...

Until next week ♥

An Interview- Ms. Claudette

 

“Thank you for sitting down with me, Ms. Claudette. How are you doing today?”

“It’s my pleasure, dear, and I’m doing just fine,” she said as she settled into the chair. “It’s nice to step away for a moment. How are you?”

“I’m doing very well, thank you! Shall we get started?”

“Ask away,” she said with a warm smile.

“How are you enjoying your retirement?”

“It’s relaxing,” she said, crossing her legs and leaning back. “My days and my time are my own, and I’m not beholden to much of anything. Spending mornings on my terrace with coffee is wonderful, and I get to see James and Vanessa every morning when they come into the office. I really couldn’t ask for much more.”

“Sounds like you live a pretty happy life.”

“Very much so. I’m incredibly lucky,” she said with another warm smile.

“What would you want to do, hypothetically, if you were to go out and get a job?”

Her brow furrowed as she drummed her fingers on her knee.

“Hmm, that’s a good question. After all I’ve done and all I’ve experienced, I think I’d like to try something different. Maybe working with children in some capacity. I think I might be good at that, watching out for them and teaching them some of the basics of caring for yourself.”

“I think you’d be good at it too. Those would be lucky children.”

“Well, thank you! You flatter me,” she said with a laugh.

“What’s a hobby you have?”

“Oh, I have quite a few,” she said thoughtfully. “I started knitting when I was young. That’s something I’ve maintained over the years. It’s always good to keep your hands busy. I also help out with rescuing cats and, on occasion, nursing them back to health. Those are the two that are at the forefront. It would take me all day to go through all the bits and pieces of everything I’ve started and would like to finish.”

“What got you started on knitting?”

“With how storied my history has been,” she said with a sly smile, “it was just something nice. As a little girl, I used scraps of whatever I could find just to see something happy come together. Once I was able to get myself into stable living, it was a little easier to find materials. It’s just always been a bright spot.”

“I know things were rough for you for a long time. I’m glad you found something to bring you joy. Is rescuing cats how you ended up with four?”

“In a way, yes. I foster a lot of cats, and some of them just decide they are staying here. That’s the thing with cats. They set up shop where they want to set up shop. It’s their world; we’re just living in it,” she said with a laugh. “I just like seeing them happy. Being able to take in a wee one that’s struggling, nursing them back to health, and seeing them thrive and play is a feeling that’s hard to match.”

“That is just so kind of you. You are a lovely woman.”

“You flatter me,” she said as she dropped her chin and smiled. “It’s more selfish than anything. I get to have a lot of adorable kittens in my life and see them off to good homes. They fill my heart.”

“What skill do you have that might be surprising?”

“I’m a very surprising woman,” she said as she threw her head back, laughing. “I’m small and appear unassuming. I’m pretty plain and unmemorable when out. I can see you have something to say about that, but don’t worry… I wasn’t being self-deprecating, just factual. In my opinion, plain and unmemorable is an asset. I know most don’t see it that way, but it lets you move around as you’d like without drawing attention to yourself. You can get up to all kinds of mischief when people’s gaze just skips over you.”

“That’s an interesting take on it.”

“We were all born exactly as we are, and all we can do is use what we have. I’ve made quite a bit of money at poker. No one thinks someone like me could be such a shark,” she said with a wicked grin. “I don’t know if that answers your question, but I can accomplish a lot by allowing everyone to decide I’m not really anything to pay attention to. You know, until you obtain a national reputation…”

“I’d like to talk about that some.”

“Maybe another time, dear,” she said with a gentle smile. “I don’t have much time left before I need to get back.”

“Fair enough. We are almost done here. What does the perfect vacation look like to you?”

“The last couple years of my life have been the perfect vacation. Relaxing mornings, surrounded by my cats, all the free time in the world to fill with whatever strikes my fancy. It’s been really wonderful.”

“But what about places you’d want to go?”

“Why would I want to go anywhere? It’s so lovely here,” she said, holding her hands out, gesturing around. “I have everything I could ever want or need right here.”

“What about a perfect date?”

“Going to the range!” she said excitedly. “Not only can you compete for the best shot, but how someone holds a bow can be telling. I want a sense of adventure, someone that can’t see the adventure in everyday things just can’t keep my interest for long.”

“You really are full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“I never want to get predictable,” she said with a wink.

“I think I’ve taken up enough of your time, Ms. Claudette. Thank you again for sitting down with me.”

“It was an honor, and I’d love to do it again sometime,” she said as she stood with unnerving grace and ambled to the portal that would take her back.

Darkness Falls- A.E. Faulkner ♥♥♥♥

Darkness Falls- A.E. Faulkner
330 pages

The entire concept of this book is fascinating to me. What if nature gets tired of us and fights back? I think it rings even more true because I can see it happening, albeit to a lesser extent, in real life too. I was pulled in for the concept but stayed for the characters.

Everything is through Quinn’s perspective. I think she's a reliable narrator, and the way she processes all the story's emotions and the situations they find themselves in feels relatable. My only real complaint about her is she reads as older than 16. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I had to keep reminding myself that she isn’t in her early twenties.

I had a few issues with some of the side characters, but it wasn’t so much the writing of them but their personalities in general. Which made them seem more realistic. Rarely do we find all people around us pleasant to be around all the time. I think it adds more depth to the story that I was annoyed with them.

I think the only character I have a true issue with is Jasmine. The drastic portrayal of her flips on its head almost fast enough to give me whiplash. I understand what the goal was, but I felt like it was too sudden to be easily believed. I don’t want to veer into spoiler territory, so forgive the vagueness, but even the reasons given for all stages just don’t vibe with me very well. Her entire dynamic felt forced.

I have some issues with how one of the major plot points is playing out. I feel like not enough of it was resolved to end the book. There can be elements that arch through an entire series, I’m good with that, but it felt like too much was left open-ended. When I finished the book, it just didn’t feel… complete. This only becomes a concern for me because it makes me worry I will invest a lot of time and energy and emotions into these characters only to have the end of the series as a whole leave too much unsaid or undone. So, color me concerned.

Overall, I liked it. I think it’s a good read! I plan to read the rest of the series sometime this year, and I really hope there is a solid and comfortable ending. Doesn’t have to be a happy ending, necessarily, but I want to feel like I’m ok with walking away. However, I want to mention… while the majority of the book is well-written, one thing that really threw me off was the dialogue. Sometimes two people would talk in the same paragraph. A few times, I had to go back and look at it again to make sure I knew who was talking. I did get used to it by the end of the book, but it was a little grating.

Rating ♥♥♥♥

Oy With the Poodles Already!

It's been that kinda week. I mean, it's not all bad. I just stalk the weather too much, I think. I've been dreading this storm. But, like, it didn't even end up being that bad here? I'm not mad about it. Here's the thing. I love storms. Give me Big Thunder. Give me Big Lightning. Add a touch of wind and that intoxicating smell of a storm. That's what I want. You can keep the tornados and the 60-mile-an-hour wind gusts. So watching this storm drop deadly tornado after deadly tornado as it got closer and closer to me was a little nerve wracking, to say the least. BUT Oy with the poodles already! (and if you don't understand... I highly suggest a binge session of Gilmore Girls)

I did my nails, buuuuuut don't judge them harshly lol while I am never a fantastic artist, these ones have some issues because I didn't take the picture after they were done. Theeeeen some particularly rough cleaning day happened, and I chipped a few nails and had to file them... They are a hot mess AT BEST right now. But it's fine. 

I think I've talked about it before, but Tuesday is my cleaning day. I ended up taking a bookcase down the stairs BY MYSELF. I did not really think that one through all the way until I was on the stairs backward, supporting the bookcase. I did it, AND I didn't fall! Which is kinda fantastic because I'm really good at falling down the stairs. It's one of my superpowers. Falling upstairs, tripping over painted lines, and oversleeping are also among my super powers. I paid extra for that. 

I have a countdown on my phone to my best friend's wedding. It's been there since like July-ish. I see it, but today I actually saw it. There are 45 days left. FORTY-FIVE. But I'm getting there eight days before the wedding. So, I have 37 days before I will be driving 850 miles. O.o It's just like... all of a sudden here. It just sort of dawned on me. I feel like I'm not ready? Time moves weird... And then, three weeks after that wedding is my sister's wedding. 

The gnome!!! He is coming along, but I'm freaking out because I only have like 6 days to finish. The little outfits are taking longer than I anticipated. I'm going to get it done. Staying on top of all the things makes me very busy, but busy is something I can handle. Being busy usually means I am being productive. Productive days are good days. It means I'm doing ok. So I'm busy, but I'm happy. So, here's the gnome:

Into the Flames Excerpt 6: Annabell

 She lifted the purse out of the crook of her elbow and went to unzip it. She stumbled a little on the uneven concrete, and it fell from her hands. Makeup, receipts, and other random items spilled out. I looked over at Arthur and smiled. He had noticed people close to Kendall's car, and recognition flashed in his eyes. I dropped to my knees and planted the tracker near the wheel well on the passenger side before helping Renee pick up the contents of her purse. 

"I did leave my wallet," she said as we stood up. 

We started to make our way back to the car when I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw it was a text from Arthur.

What are you doing here!

I smiled. It wasn't easy to surprise him, and I always loved to be the one to do it.

Saving your ass. :)

Annabell! You should be resting.

You worry too much. I'm fine, I promise. Plus, I planted a tracker.

Where are you parked?

At the lot next door.

I saw him start his car as we walked by. He pulled out of the parking lot and into the one we had parked in. Onyx stepped out.

"Arthur wants to talk to you," he said with a grin.

(All excerpts are taken from a lightly edited first draft. They may be changed or removed from the final book.)